Looking for advice on how to pick up the peices of a broken heart and move on...

[Ghost1988]

Sorry, so long.....

Last year I met the most amazing girl I've met in my entire life. She was Beautiful, Intelligent, Hilarious, and just downright awesome. She also loved the Sly look which really turned me on (and was the main reason I started not caring about my hairloss). We were merely identical personality wise. I thought I found "the one". We dated for a year and I was the happiest I've been in my entire life. I showed her off to people like she was a trophy, like I was lucky to pull a girl like her off. When I was with her I walked around malls, grocery stores, Parks, etc, with my head held high feeling like I was "the man". I had fallen head over heels crazy in love with this girl, and thing's were going great. Or so I thought.......

A month and a half ago she just "left". One day she just cut all communication off and ignored all of my calls, texts, etc. I never even got a goodbye. It took 4 days later to get a text from her just saying "I wasn't happy anymore" and that was it. I never got a reason why or anything. I never even got a chance to try to change or correct anything.

For a whole month I did nothing but sleep all day. I started skipping school (leading to me failing a college class of mine), not eating, shaving, or doing much of anything. I was miserable and just couldn't cope.I felt betrayed and had a million things running through my mind because I never got an explanation about why she left. I was insanely heart broken, and still am almost 2 months later........

I tried to contact her for a month and she ignored me. I plead and begged foolishly through texts to talk to me and explain things for a month only to have her continue ignoring me. I tried so hard until I was exhausted and got nothing out of it. I cried at least twice a day for a month over this girl and prayed to god she'd come back which never ended up happening.

2 weeks ago I got an email from her titled I know you have a lot of unanswered questions, so i'm writing this to tell you why I left you and basically just went on to degrade me and tell me that she simply just "stopped loving me". After reading that email I basically hit rock bottom depression. I got to the point where I would constantly text her 5 times a day, call her, leave her voicemails, and just nag the hell out of her to give things another chance. All I was doing was pissing her off and making her hate me. She told me she just wants space and for me to leave her alone so things can die down eventually.

It's been a week since I've contacted her, and I don't plan on contacting her. I just want to give her the space she wants. I'm just having a lot of anxiety issues. this past week has felt like a month. I can only imagine what a month will feel like. I'm stuck between wanting to move on and not wanting to move on. I Just want to be happy and not miserable like I've been, but at the same time I don't want to give up on this and ruin any future chance of us being together, since she even said herself "we'll talk again some day". I've never met anybody like her. The last thing I want is to date around right now when my mind is on her. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I guess i'm just looking for some "guys" advice on what to do. I'm really going through a difficult time.

the worst part is we had plans on moving in with each other soon and eventually getting married. It's a hard pill to swallow.......

[Tyler]

Ghost, sorry to hear about that bro!  It's tough when you find someone you're really into and things don't end so well. 

I think you're wise to let this be in the past and start looking forward.  Use this as a learning experience to know that you can pull women like this, because you have done it, and you will continue to do it.  Keep your head up bro!

[Arty Chris]

Hi Ghost,

I've just private messaged you... hope it helps a little...

And really, you WILL get over it... life will be awesome again!

[tomgallagher]

You are not alone as far as broken hearts are concerned. A lot, if not all of us, have been through this sorry state. Unfortunately it is like having an extended version of the flu. You will get over it in time and, as Arty Chris has said, life will be awesome again. Also, stop all the texts and phone calls and messages. They just love it when you grovel. Ignore her, that just drives them nuts.   

[xnewyawka]

Ghost, you've got to let it go man, just let her go. Try your hardest to pick yourself up out of it and get on with life. Follow Arty Chris' advice; things will get better and life will be awesome again, as a matter of fact, life is awesome right now so get out there and live it. Stay strong and proud!   

[kenny57028]

Sorry to hear about that, that's a bad way to end a really good relationship. I know its hard to move on right now, but thats probably the best thing to do. You don't have to go out with someone or even try and find someone just be single and try and enjoy life again and everything will fall into place. Best of luck to ya.

[Ellus]

Hey man!

Hope your doing OK now? If not, the best thing to do is to go out and do some exercising. Go for a long run or something. Use the body's natural painkillers to feel better! This has always helped me during though times. You'll feel so much better after a nice workout,  guaranteed! 

[Slynito]

I'm sorry this happened to you, but you are not alone. It's happened to many of us, it's one of those sad times in the journey of life. It may sound simple but you got to put her behind you and grab on to the good life that you deserve...get back up on the horse. Many would like an update if you feel like it. All the best of luck.

[Daven]

First, I am so sorry for your pain. second, how old are you? I ask only for the reason that I hope as an older guy, My life advice can help you.

My foster son was once BALLING in his room hysterical that his "love of his life" had dumped him I told him this : what color are her eyes, "blue" he said.  I asked what her favorite colors were  "green and yellow" he said. I said when you are 25, you won't remember any of those things. It WILL get better.  Now you are older than my foster son, that was when he was 14, but I hope you understand it might be true for you in 10 - 15 years. BUt it WILL get better. I promise. I would encourage you to let it be or you might get more hurt Don't contact her ever again. Maybe she will miss you and come back, if she doesn't - it wasn't meant to be.

BTW, he is now 25 and said the other day he doesn't remember those things, and had to think when I asked who his first LOVE was. once I corrected him he said "Yeah, not so much".

My advice to everyone is NEVER get married until you are 25. You brain ain't done cooking until then.

[Slynito]

My advice to everyone is NEVER get married until you are 25. You brain ain't done cooking until then.

Daven, you said a mouthful there! In rural US people get married (first time) at 18 yoa and younger and become grandparents in their mid thirties. These young people don't know how to make a commitment, don't have resources, education nor their goals in life. Maybe there should be a poll of SBG of age they were married or how many times they were married...just a thought.

[mrzed]

I met my wife at 29. Married a year later at 30. She was 33.

Glad that I waited. We've been married 28 years now.

[b.driscoll]

This has happened to ALL of us. Truth is that all you can do is stay away and not try and put pressure on her.  Years ago I was told during a similar situation that if she is truly ''the one'' then she will return.  In the mean time, go on with your life and LIVE.  You will meet the ''one'' and you'll look back at this time and  know that thing's worked out for the best. GOOD LUCK to you.

[D-Man]

Do not make any more contact with her.You are making yourself look sad and desperate.I know,I've been there and did  the same thing years ago.

She will lose any ounce of respect she's ever had for you.

Take some time for yourself,let yourself heal and focus on you.

When you're ready.Get back in the game and meet new women.Online dating is great for that.

Have fun and remember there are lots of great women out there who will treat you great and you'll eventually forget about this last lady and move on with life in a better way.

God Bless 

p.s.....Almost 4 months has passed since your initial post.How about an update on your situation!