Self-acceptance is easy for me but that doesn't change how other people look at me. Look, I know that sounds really angsty, but it's important to point out this is not depressed ramble. Not everybody can relate to me and I don't expect anyone to. I am twenty-three and have been balding since my sophomore year of high school. I am also literally deformed. It's an incurable condition similar to scoliosis. I'm only looking for some advice, and maybe some stories of how you dealt with balding and mistreatment from others.
But no pity, please, I'm not a victim.
I'm comfortable with myself and my masculinity. Shaving my hair just isn't that big of a deal for me. Last year I went sly just to see how it felt.
My social life was completely miserable.
First it was bad because of my deformity. When people look at me they don't see a health problem. They only see a guy with poor posture whose, "Some scrawny loser." Squats are impossible for me. I cannot work out at the gym. When I was sly it only got worse. You need to be buff in order for this appearance work, right? Being scrawny while bald just doesn't cut it. Nobody would want to be around someone like that. Even store clerks asked if I was dying from cancer. All of the self-acceptance in the world doesn't stop complete strangers from shouting profanities out their car window at me. That's how bad it really was.
Today my hair is grown out and it's not so terrible. But it continues to recede and eventually it'll look awful. Shaving hair isn't some kind of fashion statement its a part of life and growing old. I am perfectly content with myself but being isolated like this is suffocating. Hormone therapy will only slow down the recession and permanently destroy my libido. Implants will leave scars everywhere and you'll look like an idiot. But the worst thing about "treatments" for me- admitting to myself that I should feel ashamed for something I cannot help. That just isn't who I am. Right now my self-esteem is fine but I think it will be ruined forever if I went through with it. The risks might be worth it though. Right now I'm just considering my options very carefully. I just don't know what I should be doing differently. Any ideas?
