I don't really know where to turn

[ConJon]

I am 20 years old, and within the past year I have watched my hair go from silky thick hair to dried up thin hair. It seems like its happening so fast. My whole life I have put to much thought and worry about the way my hair looks, and now thats its going, It feels like somewhat of a nightmare. Its thinning so much at the top and the worst thing is, im pale, skinny and when I feel my head I have pretty lumpy weird head shape. My ability to grow good facial hair isn't quite there. Though I've never had any problems with girls, I feel like I have to worry about it. I wake up every day and feel completely miserable. Thinking that my youth is just diminishing. I'm not sure what to do. I've had so many upsets in my life, and this just tops it off. I just need some sort of phrase some sort of support to get my through the day and make me have a shred of confidence. Any, and I mean any help is appreciated.

[Razor X]

It's probably not nearly as bad as you think it is; we're all our own worst critics.  How about posting a couple of photos and the we can give you some informed advice?

[ConJon]

I'll try posting some photos as soon as I can. I feel like I can only pull off the whole hair thing for maybe another year. 2 at max. until something has to be done. I don't know if hair thins at the same rate. Or slows down somewhere along the line.

[Razor X]

I'll try posting some photos as soon as I can. I feel like I can only pull off the whole hair thing for maybe another year. 2 at max. until something has to be done. I don't know if hair thins at the same rate. Or slows down somewhere along the line.

Everybody's different.  My hairline started receding when I was about your age and it was a good 15 years before I started shaving my head regularly, though admittedly, in retrospect I should have started a couple of years earlier.  I went through periods where it seemed to rapidly worsen, followed by long periods where things stabilized.

Hair loss only looks bad if you try to disguise it or pretend it isn't happening by trying to maintain a hairstyle for which you no longer have enough coverage to maintain.  Just go with it, don't fight it.  Get your hair cut shorter and keep going shorter as the thinning progresses.   It's not nearly as big a deal as it seems to you now.  It may take you a long time to realize that, but trust me.

As for the pale part -- I'm pale too.  It's really not that big a deal.  Skinny you can do something about.  Join a gym and start lifting some weights.  The extra bulk, as well as the increased strength you'll develop will do a lot to improve your confidence.

[banmuir]

...when I feel my head I have pretty lumpy weird head shape.

Ditto. Strangely it was my biggest worry - I thought I'd get more comments about that than being bald! My fingers and imagination exaggerated the situation - I was convinced that there was a mountain range marching across the top of my head (a bit like the comb on a rooster), and it also felt like someone had taken an axe to the back of my head. I really did wonder what eyesore I was about to inflict on the general population (let alone my friends and colleagues who have to put up with me more often!).

But actually, I love it - bumps and all (and nothing as I'd imagined). The only challenge is negotiating the turns and curves with a blade ... but I find the HB great for that, and not doing too badly (even though I'm only on day 3).

Ditto again on the 'pale' and 'skinny' - but I have a plan there.
 

[ConJon]

Thank you so much for the replies. I have been working out once a day for an hour and a half at time. But its only been a week of that. My mom is naturally very thin. However my dad looks like a body builder. I've just been thin my whole life and I am a little bit worried I won't be able to bulk up. And as for the shape of my head, I can only hope it's not as bad as what i feel around up there! I talked to my friend about how I have been worrying to much about things that shouldn't matter, and he told me to fill my time up to the point where I have no time to worry. So I guess working out can be one of them. Im just upset about me being 20 years old and losing my hair. It make me angry almost when I see people with full heads of hair now. A terrible thing to say. But its just making me not even want to leave the house. But drowning myself in self pity isn't going to achieve anything.

[Razor X]

Im just upset about me being 20 years old and losing my hair. It make me angry almost when I see people with full heads of hair now. A terrible thing to say.

Time has a way of evening things out. One day long after you've put this issue behind you, those full heads of hair will have begun to thin.  And believe me,  they won't be any happier about it than you are now.  They'll be dealing with it at the same time they're dealing with other signs of aging.  MPB isn't welcome at any time.  But things are nowhere near as bleak as they seem to you right now.  It does get better -- and being proactive and doing the best you can to look and feel your best is a good start.

[BillOnBass]

Hi ConJon,

I'm not gonna lie, it definitely sucks losing your hair at an early age.  I started receding, then thinning out, all over the top of my head around the same age as you, and the hats I wore were my only comfort when it came to that issue.  Around 22, it was at the point where wearing a medium or long hairstyle just wasn't an option because I was so thin on top.

I felt attached to my hair (though my hair obviously didn't feel the same way towards me) and was basically in state of denial that I was losing it day by day.  I spent way too much time each day dwelling on how my hair looked.  Wasted time.  Once you sit down and confront the reality of the situation, you make a decision.  Do you continue dwelling on how miserable you are or do something to change that fact?

You've come to this site so that's a great start.  Read through some older threads and soak in the wisdom of all those who have been in the exact same spot.  I shaved my head at 23 and have been for a year and 8 months.  One of the best things I ever did for myself.  The whole experience of buzzing then shaving my head was incredibly liberating.  I was happier than I had been in a very long time. 

As far as being pale, some people are just pale.  You'll probably be getting more sun once you shave and want to leave the house again, just don't burn yourself!  Your noggin is likely not as lumpy as you imagine; check the boards and you'll find many that had the same concerns shaved their heads and realized they weren't actually hideous.  You say you work out once a day for 1 1/2 hours?  You won't see results after one week, just keep at it and in maybe one month it will be visibly noticeable.  If you're skinny and want to bulk up, you need to concentrate on your diet and lifting heavy weights over cardio.  Search this site and on Google and there is surely some info to help you there.

Basically, we don't have enough time on this earth to wallow in pity.  Do what you have to do to make yourself happy.  I can give probably a 95% guarantee that if you shave your head you won't regret it.  I'm no longer attached to my hair and never spend any time thinking about it from day to day.  I never pictured myself as a bald man but that's what I am, and now I can't see myself any other way.     

[baldjoeg]

Hi COnJon,

Welcome to the Sly Bald Guys website. It is the greatest website for bald guys. You willet a lot of good advice here.

I agree with Razor X and Bill on Bass.

I was where You were once but now feelore confident since I took the plunge. I relly like the new look.  Take care.

Joe G.

[xnewyawka]

Hey Joe G, where's your pic?

[PeanutHead214]

ConJon, I am in the same place as you brudda! I am 22 years old and my hair started going when I was 18. That was a brutal blow seeing that I once had a crisp lineup like the one that Steve Harvey use to have. I played with it for about 3 years, going to doctors, coloring in the thin spots etc. I finally shaved it blad a year ago, and sometimes I love it, but I agree with you that sometimes I feel like I have an odd shaped head, and that I wish I was bulkier as it seems bulky guys look better bald. But I think we only think this way because we are young and maybe still have not fully accepted the sly look yet.

My concerns are this sly guy experts. I have been shaving my hair for a year now, but it hurts a lot. Like if I let it grow out and than trim it down and shave it, sometimes it is okay. But with letting it grow out I get the worst break outs al over my head. On the other hand if I shave every day or every other day, it hurts also. Maybe I dont know how to shave correctly, maybe I am using the wrong products, I dont know, but if I am going to be bald (like I really have a choice at tis point) I want to keep it sly at all times, so what do I do?

[Glen]

Welcome to the SBG ConJon!  You will find that this place is a wealth of information, support, and encouragement.  Although you may not feel in control now, as you come to grips with the inevitable you will realize that you are in control.  You have the option of being the "balding guy" at the other end of the room or the "bald guy..."  There is a big difference!