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Family by Level on 13 Feb, 2011 10:12
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Hey guys,
I am new here, and to get to my question I need to elaborate on my situation at the moment. So I am now 20, turning 21 in march, and I am showing signs of balding. I've been noticing for over a year that I've been going bald and even though it's noticable for myself, other people only notice it (or at least admit to noticing it) if I mention anything about it.
So this autumn and winter I went to study abroad in Sweden, I had my hair reasonably short. The only way I can discribe it would be it was a longish buzzcut if that makes any sense. When I wanted to trim my hair, my hairclippers skipped over a few settings and it took a chunk out of my hair. In stead of going into a blind panic I figured: "Heck, I'm going bald anyway, I might as well get it short. I'm in a country where nobody knows me so what do I care, might as well try it out."
I'll have to admit though that my confidence took a bit of a hit. I used to have no problems approaching women but I seemed to be more reluctant over there, which is ironic since the women are gorgeous. I think I wasn't intimited by their stunning looks, as that never was an issue for me in the past. Anyways, slowly my cofidence started to return during my stay there were it not for the wonders of internet and facebook and the pictures of me on it.
The reactions back home were bad... People hated how I looked in sweden, especially my family. They kept telling me that I looked so much better with hair and blablabla, I guess you guys know the drill. I started to let my hair grow back again and the complaining seemed to stop. But to be honest, I'm not denying I'm going bald, and in the future at some point I figure I'll have to adopt the look I had in Sweden again. So how do I deal with this guys? -
#1 by Nonick on 13 Feb, 2011 10:59
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Level, if you read some of the threads in here about this sort of topic you will find that it basically comes down to you and what you want. Yeah, it sounds a bit self-centered, but you have to be comfortable with who you are ane what you look like, because that is how you will carry yourself and come across to others. If you think you look best buzzed, or short-haired for now, that is what you do for you. The rest of the world will accept you one way or the other. You've seen this in a foreign place, well the same will hold true when you are home. People grow and change.
If you want personal opinion of how you look, post a picture or two. Of course most of us are biased towards the skin look. But still, it comes down to you
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#2 by Razor X on 13 Feb, 2011 14:03
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You bite the bullet and do it, and then endure the fallout from the family. They'll be persistent for a while, but eventually they'll get over it.
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#3 by buddha on 13 Feb, 2011 15:38
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You bite the bullet and do it, and then endure the fallout from the family. They'll be persistent for a while, but eventually they'll get over it.
What Razor said.
In addition never offer apologies for your choice. If people give you grief over your hair (or lack thereof) it is easier to walk away than it is to stand in there and try to win them over. You can't change anyone but yourself. It's just too bad that others can't remember this as well. Those who matter don't mind, those who mind don't matter. -
#4 by Magoo on 13 Feb, 2011 16:23
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Do what you feel best at. If leaving it cut short gives you the most confidence do a buzz cut. When the time comes and shaving feels right then go all the way.
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#5 by marshd1000 on 13 Feb, 2011 19:53
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I have been slowly going bald for a few years. My parents gave me a hard time when I started to shave my head.....even though they could see I was losing hair in the front. I also had a non romantic female friend try to manipulate me into growing it back as recently as last year. But most people will quit bugging you about it if you stand your ground. While my mom would still like me to grow my hair back, I recently grew it back for two weeks after having surgery. So she say that I had lost a lot more hair. So now she understands why I do it.
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#6 by Level on 14 Feb, 2011 02:14
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Hey guys,
Thanks for the comments! Well I'm still a bit on the fence, let me post a picture of what I looked like. I think you can figure out which one I am
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#7 by D.A.L.U.I. on 14 Feb, 2011 06:55
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Family--they want you to remain what they remember. It's not maliciouus, they really can't help themselves. As you mature, they realize that they are aging, and that's not always a comfortable place to be. Your hair situation is yours, you're the 24/7 guy here. Ultimately you have to do what you feel best about. If that's a buzz, then it's a buzz, if that's taking it to the wood, it's smooth and sly. Razor's spot on about "endure" and you will gain control of what is yours.
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#8 by Noodles on 14 Feb, 2011 09:54
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Level,
Yep, family can be a "small bump" on the road of "CHANGE"! They react the way they do because they don't know how to react otherwise. My wife, kids, and mother all tried to convince me to grow my hair back, but I stood my ground, and now, my going sly is FULLY ACCEPTED by all, and they wouldn't have me any other way!
If you decide to disregard your own desires and grow your hair back simply to please family and get them off your back, they will sense a feeling of being able to manipulate you (in a matter of speaking) to get you to dress, act, walk, talk, and look the way they feel you should, and it can get out of hand quicker than you can ever imagine! Not that they do this on purpose, but it can sneak up on you and create a MONSTER - IF YOU LET IT GET OUT OF CONTROL!
Stand your ground, make your decision and do what YOU want to do - they WILL get used to it.
- Cap'n Noodles - -
#9 by seahawk guy on 14 Feb, 2011 11:11
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Yes, be yourself. Family and friends might take a little while to win over. But, I'm sure in the end they will respect and admire you for doing what you feel is right for you.