Just took the plunge after 10 years of living a lie

[Jack21]

Rajor X and JJ,

Thanks for the words of encouragement. Maybe I'm just overly sensitive. I shaved my head regularly when I was in college and the army. There were always people who said the same kinds of things that I've been getting over the course of the past week, but I just blew it off. I didn't care what they said. I liked it. I felt like it was me. I'm letting the insults get to me more than I should. I do still kind of feel like I was deceiving people and that they're pissed off as a consequence.

[J.J.]

Rajor X and JJ,

Thanks for the words of encouragement. Maybe I'm just overly sensitive. I shaved my head regularly when I was in college and the army. There were always people who said the same kinds of things that I've been getting over the course of the past week, but I just blew it off. I didn't care what they said. I liked it. I felt like it was me. I'm letting the insults get to me more than I should. I do still kind of feel like I was deceiving people and that they're pissed off as a consequence.

Don't focus on the negative, Jack.  You know what you like, and you've gotta know that you look good. 

[Rob-Raz]

I think at this point you just have to respond to all negative comments with "Hey, i love it and it's my head!"  Like stated before, anyone who truly cares about you will deep down make a turn around when they see that you are happier with yourself.....given some time. Stay as positive as possible and let that energy exude to everyone else. The problem is no longer yours...you shaved that away....the problem now is them and they will have to deal with that themselves. The look really does suit you man....you look good.


Also...theory on the female student....she may have had a crush on you and such a major change hit her hard!!         She will live.

[D.A.L.U.I.]

You've had a tough time, but I sense that you know you can't go back, part of the "you can't step into the same stream twice" thing.  Once everyone realizes that you're going to do what's right for you, what you want, not what they want you to be--they'll come around.  It obviously is going to take some time--but you've done harder things and you'll do this too.  Anyone who's done IDF can handle this. 

[erutan]

Jack,

I'm sorry everyone around you is being so rude about the change you've made.  At the private school I work at there was a lady who said flat out to my face "You were more handsome before."  I had to laugh at that because there is zero validity to her comment.  People do not like change that happens in their environment.  One student, on my first day of shaving, said to me with a big smile on her face.  "You know I was FINALLY getting used to seeing you with hair and then you go and shave it off again, no I have to get used to this look."  She's a grade 6 student.  My situation is a little bit different because last year everyone saw me with a buzzed head, and it was only over the summer that I "grew" it out.  So most are quickly readjusting their senses to seeing me as I was last year, not the last few months.  That being said, Jack.  Just because some people do not like change gives them no right to place judement on YOU!  AS I told a naysayer, "My head, my rules."  Private schools are tough because there is a lot of privilege there.  We'll get through this year together, bro.

 

[Rob]

sometimes I think some people, especially women for some reason, would really rather see a guy with a comb-over, or a rug, or using drugs to regrow their hair than see them happy.  I think a lot of people feel put out because a SLY guy is facing things and dealing with them in a way that those other people wouldnt dare to try.

You are showing that you are following your own mind, and most folk prefer to be dealing with 'sheep', who follow the norm and down stray out of line.

Stick with it.  I'm sorry you are having to many negative reactions though.

[J.J.]

 "My head, my rules." 
 

Words to live by!

[Jack21]

Well, we'll just have to wait and see what joys await me this week. I am really going to have to hold my head up and not flinch at all in the face of the insults and jokes. I can show no weakness. I have had to endure things that at the time I thought unendurable. I have had to put on a brave face in the past in order to not let others lose heart. This time I have to put on a brave face to blunt the force of the ridicule. If those dishing out the jokes and insults smell blood, I'm dead in the water.

[D.A.L.U.I.]

Well, we'll just have to wait and see what joys await me this week. I am really going to have to hold my head up and not flinch at all in the face of the insults and jokes. I can show no weakness. I have had to endure things that at the time I thought unendurable. I have had to put on a brave face in the past in order to not let others lose heart. This time I have to put on a brave face to blunt the force of the ridicule. If those dishing out the jokes and insults smell blood, I'm dead in the water.

You've dealt with serious attacks, this is nothing.  Put your game face and dome on, ramp up the humor and you'll be fine. 

[Jack21]

Well, It would appear that everyone hoped that I would miraculously reappear at work today with my "hair" grown back.
Seeing me shaved again seems to have people even more upset than when I first showed up shaved headed last week.
"Why on earth would you do that to yourself again? Have you lost your mind"

I tried replying to one of these "Whys" with something like "I was going for a diabolical look" to which I got the answer:

"You don't look like the devil. You just look like an idiot!"

No way really to know how to come back from that one.

I spoke to my mother who said "They should just learn how to deal with it. I had lots of ugly teachers". That's a well meaning mother for you.

[D.A.L.U.I.]

"They should just learn how to deal with it. I had lots of ugly teachers".

She must be quite a lady-- , great sense of humor.

And of course she's right!  Your move to sly has been very unusual--generally it is the mothers and wives who have the problem w/ it--your Mother is more "with it" than your Father. 

Listen to your Mother--she's right.

[cursedforlife]

I made a thread on here a while back expressing my concern about being a young bald guy and the way people react towards/treat you...people on this site aren't willing to acknowledge that in some cases an extreme bias exists towards bald people and that it can have a huge affect on your life. Sure, it may be the problem of the mean people who dish out the prejudice but that doesn't make it any easier on the part of the bald recipients who get treated poorly because of something they can't control. This thread just helps prove my point and it sucks to hear such a story.

One question though...not accusing you of being a troll but I have seen your thread on baldtruth.com and there are inconsistencies. You seem to mention you have a different job in this thread, and in the other thread, you mention how getting a hair transplant  was the main cause of your dissatisfaction but you don't even mention that here...I don't get it. http://www.baldtruthtalk.com/showthread.php?t=3451

[Magoo]

cursedforlife........very intresting, Iam waiting for his reply. Started to feel this was an over done sob story.  

Also inconsistencies with the time period. Here he is talking about OCT. on other site it is happening in SEPT.  ......hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm something fishy here.

[aarrggh]

  good call cursedforlife . . 

[J.J.]

hmmmmm