problem dealing with this...

[RuddyR]

Hi,

My names Ruddy and im a 22 year old college student. Id like to start off by saying that im pretty happy i found this forum. I wasnt really looking for one til about 20 min ago...mostly cause its a boring night, got tired of studying for my exams and all my roommates are home for the weekend, so i thought; "why not".

Heres my story. I think im balding! I started noticing a "thinning" look when i was a senior in high school. I didnt think much of it i guess. It was just a; "hmm, thats weird..oh well" kinda thing. But over the years, ive noticed that my hair has been thinning more and more, and the tell u guys the truth, its eating me up inside..pretty bad too. My family and friends know im losing my lush, theyre not stupid, but they never say anything about it. I feel like everytime i take off my baseball cap - which by the way i never leave the house without  - i feel like everyones looking at my hair and thinking; "oh, Ruddy's balding," so i never take it off. When im on the bus, i always compare my hair to other guys' and try to accept the fact that "its okay". Sometimes i feel a little releived spotting a guy my age whos losing it too, makes me feel like im not the only one and maybe, just maybe, i could feel fine about it...but i never do. I just keep my hat on and pretend that its not happening to me...maybe it'll go away.

I buzzed my head once - lost a bet, long story - it felt pretty good, but i didnt look good. My heads got a weird shape and it made me feel even worst..soooo embarrassing. I always had long hair, ever since i can remember and the fact that i wont have any in a few years is killing me. Im so self-conscious about it. I dont talk about it with ANYONE. A couple of my buddies are in worst shape. Everyone knows theyre balding, but no one talks about it. They know im balding too, but again, not a word about it is said. I think its sort of an unspoken, hidden social club that we're all in. I look at his air, he looks at mine, we look at eachother for 2 seconds knowing we're thinking about the same thing and just move on. Im not really crying and complaining about all this. I know im balding, i know i'll be regularly shaving my head in a couple of years but i think im just dumbfounded that its happening. I also dont know how to deal with it..emotionally

I dont really know where im going with this, I kinda felt like opening up i guess...see what you experts would say. I lurked around before registering and thought; "hey, these guys are pretty cool". What do u guys think?


*brings in a smooth, cool case of beers for everyone*
CHEERS!


Ruddy!

[Tyler]

Ruddy - you've found the right place dude.  There are a lot of guys here that have gone through the same thing you're going through.  As one of them, I would have to recommend that you try shaving it for 30 days.  This will help you feel liberated of your balding and make you feel in control of your hair.  You will literally ask yourself, "why didn't I do this sooner?"

Glad you found us!

[tomgallagher]

What Tyler says is true dude. You'll wonder why you didn't do this sooner.

[Robmeister]

Ruddy, WELCOME, bro!!

You'd be hard pressed to NOT find an answer to just about any bald- or balding-related question here.

Cheers!!

[RuddyR]

thanks for the warm welcome fellaz!

but DUDE!
shave it off completely?! Id look totally different! I got long hair now! People are gonna be like; "man, what happened!" I dont think my self-esteem is ready for such a giant change. Further down the railroad for sure, but wow...haha sorry bro, not yet! Maybe in the summer (1 month away)

[Razor X]

Hi, Ruddy.

Hair loss can be a difficult thing to come to terms with.  All any of us can do is try and look our best using what God gave us to work with.   I think the first thing you need to do is accept the fact that a full head of hair is not something you're going to have to work with in the future.  So you need to forget what you looked like when you had all your hair and concentrate on how to look your best with what you've got.  That usually means buzzing your remaining hair very short or shaving it off completely.

Forget about your head shape.  I think we all have a tendency to magnify our own flaws, which are not usually noticed by everyone else.  Almost everyone who is about to shave his head is afraid that his head isn't the right shape for it.  It's extremely rare that someone's head is so badly shaped that it doesn't look good shaved.

Almost everyone thinks, "Other people look great with shaved heads, but it won't look good on me".  And it turns out to almost never be true.  Most people worry about getting negative feedback, only to find that they get no reaction at all or they are bombarded with compliments.

It does take some time to get used to.  Some people adjust more quickly than others.  The first time I went to work with a shaved head, I was scared to death.  I was OK around strangers, but it took a long time to feel comfortable around people I knew.  And for a couple of years afterwards, every time I was about to meet someone I hadn't seen in a long time, who didn't know I'd shaved my head, the nervousness came back.

I thought about shaving my head for a couple of years before I finally got up the nerve to do it.  I was getting obsessed with the idea but was too afraid to try it.  Eventually I realized that I would know no peace until I gave it a try.  When I did try it, I kind of liked it, but still wasn't sure that it was "me".   But my choices were to either get used to having a shaved head or deal with a rapidly receding and unattractive hairline.  I chose the former, and I am really glad that I did.  You will be too.  You'll know when you are ready.  You won't regret it.  Even if you don't like it, you can grow it back and at least you'll know that you gave it a shot.

Good luck!!

[tomgallagher]

Oh yeah, go ahead and do it dude. Man up. It's only hair.

[Razor X]

People are gonna be like; "man, what happened!"

That's what I thought, too but I actually got very little reaction of that sort.  People either didn't react at all or they really liked it.  I got more abuse from people when I grew my goatee than I got when I shaved my head.

It's scary facing the world the first time after shaving your head.  But once you get through that first day, it's just an exhilarating feeling.

[Tyler]

Yeah man, shave it!  Use clippers if you don't want to go to the skin, but either way, shave it. 

[RuddyR]

haha, oh man.


thanks Razor...i totally agree. But if i were to shave it off tonight per example, id feel really uncomfortable. I know i'll have to do it eventually. I think baby steps is the key idea here...talk to my buddies about the facts...joke around it a little maybe, get those awkward thoughts between me and my friends out of the way and then do it. I dont think theres gonna be that social shock of such a huge change.

[RuddyR]

Yeah man, shave it!  Use clippers if you don't want to go to the skin, but either way, shave it. 

hahaha
ARGH! I DUNNO! Feels way too crazy. Its like driving a Kia and buying an M5 the next day. People are gonna be shocked! If im gonna decide to go for it, then its gonna happen this summer. I'll have a few friends around so they'll see it themselves and wont see a shaggy Ruddy on thursday and a bald one on friday.

People are gonna be like; "man, what happened!"

That's what I thought, too but I actually got very little reaction of that sort.  People either didn't react at all or they really liked it.  I got more abuse from people when I grew my goatee than I got when I shaved my head.

It's scary facing the world the first time after shaving your head.  But once you get through that first day, it's just an exhilarating feeling.

Maybe its cause they secretly expected you and the rest of the fellas on here for that matter, to eventually shave it all off. If im gonna decide to go ahead and get it done, then i think im gonna need to get rid of that awkward "wanna talk about it?" feeling between the buddies and I.

[Robmeister]

HHhhmmmmm....quoting yourself....that's a new one

[Razor X]

Taking it in baby steps can make a huge difference.  Gradually go shorter, and when you get comfortable with one length, go a little shorter.  Eventually by the time you get down to a #1 or less, it makes it a lot less scary to take the blade to your scalp, because you know you grow it out to your comfort level in a week or less.

I got down to using the clippers with no guard.  Hadn't intended to go any further than that, but once I'd done it, I was so close, I just couldn't resist going completely smooth.  I thought about it for a second or two and finally said, WTF and went for it.  It's hard to describe what it's like to run your hand over your smooth bald head for the first time; it's simply an amazing feeling.

[Paul]

thanks for the warm welcome fellaz!

but DUDE!
shave it off completely?! Id look totally different! I got long hair now! People are gonna be like; "man, what happened!" I dont think my self-esteem is ready for such a giant change. Further down the railroad for sure, but wow...haha sorry bro, not yet! Maybe in the summer (1 month away)

First, welcome Ruddy, you've definitely found the right place these guys offer a lot of support and great advice.  If you check other threads you'll see we have several guys whose hair was long and they shaved.  In fact, you could follow in their footsteps and donate your hair to a charity.  That would help you to accept shaving it and give a good answer as to why you did. 

[RuddyR]

HHhhmmmmm....quoting yourself....that's a new one

oops, fixed it.

Taking it in baby steps can make a huge difference.  Gradually go shorter, and when you get comfortable with one length, go a little shorter.  Eventually by the time you get down to a #1 or less, it makes it a lot less scary to take the blade to your scalp, because you know you grow it out to your comfort level in a week or less.

I got down to using the clippers with no guard.  Hadn't intended to go any further than that, but once I'd done it, I was so close, I just couldn't resist going completely smooth.  I thought about it for a second or two and finally said, WTF and went for it.  It's hard to describe what it's like to run your hand over your smooth bald head for the first time; it's simply an amazing feeling.

oh man, i know what you mean. That one time i buzzed my head i was like: "WOW", but youre right. Im gonna have to find my left nut somewhere 1st, put it on and just dive in. Might be a while tho, my rooms a mess     I'll even post a before/after picture for you guys 

thanks for the warm welcome fellaz!

but DUDE!
shave it off completely?! Id look totally different! I got long hair now! People are gonna be like; "man, what happened!" I dont think my self-esteem is ready for such a giant change. Further down the railroad for sure, but wow...haha sorry bro, not yet! Maybe in the summer (1 month away)

First, welcome Ruddy, you've definitely found the right place these guys offer a lot of support and great advice.  If you check other threads you'll see we have several guys whose hair was long and they shaved.  In fact, you could follow in their footsteps and donate your hair to a charity.  That would help you to accept shaving it and give a good answer as to why you did. 

Ya im liking this place...glad i found it 

That charity thing isnt a bad idea. What do i do? Just put all my hair in a bag and give it to them or should i go somewhere so they all do it for me?



But all in all, i think im being a little too immature about this. Might be a good thing? Maybe i wont be as afraid of "the blade" as i think i am now when the time comes.