Confidence and Success > How to Build Confidence

just joined sly and just moved... thinking of shaving head and starting fresh??

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bundy76:
Ok heres the story i just moved to another state. i am 21 years old and have a pretty bad hairline. in my old town i was always the good athlete and never had problems with girls at all. but in the last 2 years id say ive started going bald and i dont leave my house without a hat and if i cant where a hat i go from being the confident guy i was to the most shy and self-consciousness guy. i decided to just buzz my head to a 1 and i think it looks better but i still get comments from friends and from my sisters about my hairline. without a hat i try to be confident but all i think about is that theres no way i have a chance with the girls that i used to get.... and only way i would be able to is while wearing a hat. but now at 21 it inevitable you are going to have to not wear a hat at times and i mean if your dressed up you look stupid wearing a cap. but i guess my question is how did you guys deal with it? should i shave it totally bald? and i just moved out of state a month ago so ive actually been trying to not wear a the all the time which has helped my confidence but i visited home and i was right back to not being seen without a hat. i need help! any stories or advice on how to accept it or any help whatsoever....and dont mean to sound like a cocky bastard by saying i could get the girls but its just how it was and now im afraid i wont be able too.. and i mean im only 21

Iconic:
I see a couple of things here. First there is the question how people see you, and the how you let their perception of you affect yourself. Some people see in you a man who's losing hair, some will see you as a nice looking guy. In theory one could, and should, try to live in his own reality, cliche as this may sound. How do you see yourself at the moment. I'm not sure if losing hair really is that much of a big deal. But of course if somebody is not happy with himself it will show.

My advice is try not to wear hats so often. When I had longer hair than today I became more self-conscious whenever I had to wear a hat. I hated it when I had to take off my hat.  But if I went out without hat I felt a lot better. Wearing hat makes you feel that you are hiding. It takes time to get used to a new look. Since you've already taken the bold step to buzzcut, trying the bald look is not going to be difficult for you.

Look around and see that there are cool looking bald guys even your age and younger. Check out the bald celebs section on this forum for inspiration.

Papa Don:
Bundy, not to sound harsh, but we are who we are!  Be yourself.  IMO, what I'm seeing is a person that is not happy with himself. So you're going bald, in some degree most of the men are in the same boat.  Your new in town and probably not that many people know you yet.  So why not be the new bald guy?  You will find that most people will accept you as you are.  Be friendly, keep smiling and the world will be yours again. Just think about people who have a physical defect, a lot of us running around.  they don't dig a hole and crawl in, no, they face the wonderful World with open arms with a big smile.  Hang in there, we are all behind you.

slyatlast:
Papa's right on the mark.  It's all about self-confidence and for most of us who had issues with balding, becoming sly was a boost in our self-confidence because it says to the world that we are who we are and embrace it fully.  Unfortunately family members can be the worst critics because for some reason they think they can say whatever they want without regard to our feelings....and they probably still think of you as a little kid and have trouble accepting that you're an adult.

D.A.L.U.I.:
Without a picture it's hard to judge.  But mpb hits some guys really early, I had to classmates in law school who were absolutely, profoundly bald when we started, that's about 21.  It's the luck of the draw. 
If you've buzzed it and YOU are okay with it, try that for a while.  If it's really going fast, and it can, you may quickly just have a fringe anyway.  From what you've described, at some point near or far out, you're going to be bald.  It's how you're bald that will affect your confidence, embrace it, get ahead of it, and put the worry behind you.  By shaving you effectively hide mpb in plain sight.  We think you'll like it--it may take an adjustment period to the "new dude in the mirror" but that will pass.  Just be thankful you live at a time that it's not only acceptable to be shaved bald, it's also cool, popular and widely accepted.  But remember what we all say, this is about you, and no one else, just you. 

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