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22 going bald...thinking of future is killing me.... by sloppy101 on 04 Sep, 2009 16:15
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hey guys. So i am 22 years old and i am startng to bald in the front. My dad started balding from what i can tell at aout 30. He has hair but its kindof a comb over at the age of 50. So i went to a hair doctor a little bit ago to get minaturization done to see if i am truly balding. he told me i have 80% miniturized hair in the front and 50% a little bit back from the front but none on the crown. Ok so my problem is i am so scared to go bald. I have always had a good set of hair and i feel that is how people notice me as me. This may sound un realistic but i dont want to get a wife then i go bald and she ends up not liking me anymore. I figure i wont benoticeabley going bald until 25 but i cannot stop thinking about it. It is always on my mind. I cant sleep, i cant socialize normally, i just cant get past this. If anyone can help please do! I have attatched 3 pics. 2 of me at the doctor and 1 of me right now. How do you guys think i would look bald?
thanks guys god bless
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#1 by allegrodonfuoco on 04 Sep, 2009 17:06
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It looks perfectly fine right now.
If you read many of the posts on this board, a big comment is that people (after shaving their head or whatever) almost always wish they had done it sooner. Basically, it's like you finally do something about it and all of the sudden this thing/fear/obsession that has been ruining your life is gone and it's such a relief. It's empowering because 1) you've finally taken control of something that you've been letting control you for so long and 2) you'll look better and feel better!
If you're really concerned, I would say get a short buzz cut (maybe a guard 2 or 3) - it would definitely look great on you. This is a perfectly normal haircut for anybody (balding or not). Having had long hair and regular length haircuts, buzzcuts, and a shaved head, I can say that buzzcuts are definitely the easiest of all haircuts. While I realize a shaved head might not be for everybody (although most here are fans), I honestly can't really understand why any guy would ever bother with any hair longer than a buzzcut. It's masculine, easy to maintain, and looks good on anybody.
I know it's hard to accept it at this point, and this may not be the most helpful advice for where you're at right now, but if you are balding (and bothered by that fact), you have only 2 choices... accept it or be consumed by it. It may seem so much more complicated than that to you right now, but it's really that simple. For you, assuming what you believe is true, you've still got several years before you have to make a choice. However, if you do delay the decision, I would say just let the fretting go and enjoy your hair until that point. If you think you can't put aside your issues, then I say decide to take control of it now and save yourself years of needless insecurity, anxiety, etc.
You're a handsome guy. You'd look badass with a buzzcut or a shaved head (and some cool sunglasses... haha). -
#2 by marty22 on 04 Sep, 2009 17:38
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Im not sure that you are ready to join us right now. Keep it the way it is and chill.
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#3 by Razor X on 04 Sep, 2009 19:36
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hey guys. So i am 22 years old and i am startng to bald in the front. My dad started balding from what i can tell at aout 30. He has hair but its kindof a comb over at the age of 50. So i went to a hair doctor a little bit ago to get minaturization done to see if i am truly balding. he told me i have 80% miniturized hair in the front and 50% a little bit back from the front but none on the crown. Ok so my problem is i am so scared to go bald. I have always had a good set of hair and i feel that is how people notice me as me. This may sound un realistic but i dont want to get a wife then i go bald and she ends up not liking me anymore. I figure i wont benoticeabley going bald until 25 but i cannot stop thinking about it. It is always on my mind. I cant sleep, i cant socialize normally, i just cant get past this. If anyone can help please do! I have attatched 3 pics. 2 of me at the doctor and 1 of me right now. How do you guys think i would look bald?
thanks guys god bless
Chill. There is little, if any, sign of recession in the photos that you posted. Almost everybody experiences some recession at the temples; it's part of developing a mature hairline and doesn't necessarily mean that you're going bald. Don't waste time and energy over this. If and when it actually happens, then you can deal with it. For now just enjoy your life. You're only young once. -
#4 by wpruitt on 04 Sep, 2009 19:59
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Chill. There is little, if any, sign of recession in the photos that you posted. .... If and when it actually happens, then you can deal with it. For now just enjoy your life. You're only young once.
What he said, sloppy101
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#5 by crazy.irish.celt on 05 Sep, 2009 07:29
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I have always had a good set of hair and i feel that is how people notice me as me. This may sound un realistic but i dont want to get a wife then i go bald and she ends up not liking me anymore.
Take a chill pill. It isn't even close to being noticeable yet. Most caucasians will show some form of miniaturization by your age.
As for your hair being a defining characteristic of you... not so much. It might be a useful tool for others attempting to give you a compliment, as I'm sure it helps align your appearance to someone they have been told is attractive. In reality, if you were nothing more than hair, no one would stick around for very long.
On the wife front: I'd worry more about preparing yourself to love one woman for the rest of your life. Women don't age as well as men, and your hypothetical wife will not always look like she did in her 20s when your man parts drove you to extreme lengths to gain her favor. You are just as susceptible to becoming unattracted to your wife as she is to you, so just take care of your end, be a good person, and all will be well. This may sound cliche, but if appearance i.e. signs of aging are that important to you or your future spouse, you're both in for a world of hurt.
Again, take a chill pill. -
#6 by Razor X on 05 Sep, 2009 09:05
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The other thing that needs to be remembered is that while going bald sucks, being bald isn't bad at all. If you're really young, it might make you look a little older, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. A 25-year-old with a shaved dome might be mistaken for a 30-year-old, but if he takes care of himself, stays in shape, etc, he can still look like a 30-year-old at 35. You have to look at the long term, which admittedly isn't always easy when you're in your early 20s.
Change can be hard to deal with, especially change that is thrust upon you. But if you embrace it and use it as an opportunity to redefine yourself, it really can be a positive thing. As crazy.irish.celt said, we guys have a lot more leeway than women do, with respect to the cosmetic "flaws" we can have and still be considered good-looking. Shave your head, experiment with facial hair, change up your wardrobe and get into the best physical shape you can. A good physique will attract more women than a full head of hair. Your appearance may be considerably different than what you'd envisioned for yourself, but you may be pleasantly surprised with the results.
This is meant as general advice for anyone who may be worried about MPB; I don't think the original poster in this thread really has to worry about this for a long time yet. -
#7 by allegrodonfuoco on 05 Sep, 2009 15:16
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and what's a hair doctor anyway? Admittedly, I'm not one to go to a doctor unless I'm already on my death bed... but I'm never even heard of a hair doctor. Is it just a dermatologist or something more specialized?
I'd make a horrible hair doctor. My treatment for everything would be amputation ; ) -
#8 by DJ_Bald on 06 Sep, 2009 08:02
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dude. First off I can barely tell you are even receeding a bit. You are VERY fortunate that if and when you do start going bald it is actually cool to shave your head. 15 years ago when I started going bald it wasnt cool AT ALL. You were looked at like a biker a cancer patient(if you were thin) or just plain friggin odd. Every day it is more and more acceptable to shave your head. Embrace your youth now man...you are only young once. Dont make the mistake just about everybody on this board made by spending time thinking about your stupid hair. Really. You look good and would look good sly too....dont worry about it.
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#9 by Stu on 06 Sep, 2009 08:41
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Good advice all around here, so I don't have much to add except... take the advice given!
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#10 by Morthen on 06 Sep, 2009 17:46
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Seeing as im not sly I know it probably isnt my place telling you what to do. But the way it is now I have no idea why you think you're losing hair it looks fine. Plus in the event you did you'd probably look fine with a shaved head.
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#11 by Frankblack on 12 Sep, 2009 15:22
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I know the feeling of realizing you might be losing your hair hurts bad. It happened to me in high school causing me to get an Ill advised hair transplant at 19. Now I would give my left nut to be bald with no scar. Bottom line is you look good now, you do not need to shave your head, but take comfort that this option will always be there for you, its a good look and you will care less and less about hair as you get older.(unless your a fool like me and you get a shitty hair transplant)
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#12 by buddha on 14 Sep, 2009 09:11
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First off, you look to me as though you have a fine, nay.....enviable head of hair. But, if you go to a "hair doctor" and ask him if he thinks you're losing your hair what do you expect him to say? This guy feeds his kids off the proceeds he makes from the self-loathing/insecurity industry. Let's all keep in mind what our healthcare system has de-volved into: an industry that gives anti-depressants to depressed people and then says, in the disclaimer, that taking anti-depressants may cause you to shift from depressed to totally despondent and kill yourself. Watch the commercials!
Here's a bit of wisdom that I picked up somewhere that has become invaluable to me over the years:
All life is difficult. Suffering is a choice.
To me that means that no matter what I do my life is going to be difficult. Whether or not I suffer with it depends upon whether or not I can accept the relatively simple fact that it is what it is. I guess I'm lucky in that I never really noticed my hair or the lack thereof until I was almost 50. In a literal split second, after an unfortunate encounter with members of the insect world, I made a decision to shave my head. People who saw me on the previous day saw a guy with hair down to his shoulder blades, the next time they saw me I had a smooth skull. To demonstrate how inattentive people are to this kind of thing I actually encountered people from one day to the next who said "there's something different about you but I can't decide what it is. Did you lose weight?".
I'm going to propose an experiment for you, don't feel like you have to do this. In fact, it's probably better if you don't. Find a support group for cancer survivors who have undergone chemo/radiation and have lost all their hair. Tell them that a close friend has been diagnosed with cancer and has been presented with the idea of chemo and is afraid of the hair effect. Ask their advice, they won't mind. But I suspect that some of them will laugh. What that laughter says is that if hair "miniaturization" (WTF is that $h!t?) is the worst of your friend's problems then they are truly lucky.
Then go back and see that "hair doctor" and leg whip that swine directly in the groin.
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#13 by FormerlyBitterNBroken on 15 Sep, 2009 11:17
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Dont take this the wrong way, but you are a really cute guy.
I think you(ll) look great shaved or not. -
#14 by bem75 on 15 Sep, 2009 13:10
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Like the others guys said, you can rest easy. You have a full head of hair and no real signs of losing it anytime soon. So, go out and enjoy life. Relax.
And if you do start losing your hair and it is time to shave, come back and join us. We'll still be bald and proud of it.