Jesse Ventra was clearly abducted by the same alien race that colonized earth after landing in Rozwell! Some may dismiss this as swamp gas sightings, but those who have seen these aliens know for a fact they are bald. The aliens must have abducted Ventura and replaced him with a clone that has the worst hair imaginable so that humanity would choose baldness over hair and therefore will not be frightened by their alien conqurers. The aliens need to interact with us because their starships were never designed to work in star systems with yellow suns because it affects their warp fields. This means it's going to take decades for the aliens to colonize earth to a degree that will allow them to defeat humanity, and during that time they cannot afford to have humans fear their bald heads.
This conspiracy is true because it's too detailed for it not to be so. The reason you've never heard about it is because your government is part of the conspiracy and that's another reason that proves it's true! They were responsible for 911 because they had to distract the National Enquirer because they were too close to discovering the planet Elvis Presley moved to! Send me money and buy my book and I'll describe the process for folding aluminum foil in such a way that the alien subspace transmissions will not affect your DNAs!
