Author Topic: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.  (Read 7835 times)

Offline Saitama

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It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« on: November 12, 2016, 06:41:31 PM »
Hello. I'm a 26y old balding guy and today I shaved my head for the first time. I was inspired by stories about how it makes you feel liberated, empowered and manly, but that isn't what I'm experiencing.

First, I find that being bald doesn't make anyone look manly. Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson, Bruce Willis and anonymous examples of sexy baldness usually are guys who ALREADY look manly due to their strong jawline or impressive body.

A bald head merely is the cherry on top that helps an already manly guy go from 90% to 100%.

Some people also say it is more practical and saves time and money, but that isn't true. You spend both of those on shaving every two days and buying a lot more razors, shaving cream and skin care products.

Lastly, I don't feel liberated. This is because I did it preemptively, before it became absolutely necessary. Sure, I did have a receding hairline and a bald spot behind, but I still had a lot of hair so it was easy to hide it.

So why did I shave my head? Because I was disappointed when I found out that rogaine is no cure. You have to use it for the rest of your life.

But right now, I'm feeling hideous, angry and frustrated. I'm wondering whether slavery to rogaine and finasteride is such a terrible thing.



« Last Edit: November 12, 2016, 06:48:37 PM by Saitama »



Offline Razor X

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #1 on: November 12, 2016, 08:32:38 PM »
What is it that you want from us?

Offline Saitama

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #2 on: November 12, 2016, 09:04:24 PM »
My apologies, I meant no offense. But everyone reacts to balding differently and I suppose I'm at the anger phase before acceptance comes.

What do I want? Some information refuting part of this post or all of it. That will make it easier for me to understand the situation.

Offline ThePangolin

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #3 on: November 12, 2016, 09:17:43 PM »
I think it's normal for some guys to hate it at first... I hated it the first day I went skin smooth. With the right outlook on things and a positive mindset however, it's kind of hard to hate it for long.

Yul Brenner is someone I would recommend as a famous very good looking man because of the bald head. Also Patrick Stewart. Neither had a particularly impressive body or amazing looks, in fact they're both rather odd. They both chose baldness on their own, (Patrick Stewart had some balding naturally) and it is commonly agreed that the bald head is internationally seen across the board as a sign of confidence in ones own skin.

Some guys don't like being bald, maybe you are one of them. I am sorry for you if that's the case, but hopefully you will stick to the 30 day challenge and see how you feel and how others have reacted by the end of that period.

As for Rogaine and similar products, I find them to be a patch, not a cure. They have side effects, all the chemicals are not good for your health. They often don't work as well as advertised, and man are they expensive.

The cost of a $65 electric razor that lasts up to 18 months before needing blades is a settled argument. It's the cheapest way to shave period. A cheap bottle of lotion or after shave is also very inexpensive and lasts months. Even cartridge razors can be bought on sale or in bulk and cost very little, less than $.50 per shave even. The cost to keep a bald head maintained is substantially less than for hair styling products and especially for things to try and hold on to fading hair like rogaine.

As for feeling liberated, no one said you were a slave, that's a feeling you need to have on your own when you come to a point where you feel trapped and hate the issues you're facing with your hair. Taking it off is liberating in that case. It sounds to me like your hair wasn't really bothering you however, so I'm not sure why you did this half heartedly and expected a huge euphoric enlightenment of sudden manhood and macho self esteem.

Perspective makes a lot of difference. If you look at photos of your thinning or bald hair and at yourself in the mirror every day for the next 29 days till you hit 30 to complete the challenge, I'm sure not far in you will realize that it's preferable to just face baldness now and with excitement rather than put it off in fear.

Finally, shaving doesn't take that long. Using hair putty or gel plus washing hair easily takes 15 or more minutes. I can razor shave my head in 10 before a shower, and I can electric shave my head in 15-20 anywhere, even in the car on the go.

No bed head, no issues wearing hats, no worries of hair placement or looking dumb or messy. Always sharp, always clean, always stylin.

I hope you come around and see the positives in it, but if bald just isn't for you, hopefully you will find an alternative that you are happy with. Good luck!



Offline reddog

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #4 on: November 13, 2016, 06:11:11 AM »
It's true, not everyone will look good bald. It could mostly be you are experiencing the shock of the drastic change, and your body language will show that. A shaved head is just not for everyone. Yes, it is alot of maintenance if you shave daily or frequently. Many guys look great with a shaved head, weather bbc or bbn.

The good news is that hair grows back fast. As yours grows back, you can see what length you like. You might like a buzzcut or something fairly short.

Bald by choice, and loving it!

Offline Laser Man

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #5 on: November 13, 2016, 12:22:13 PM »
One thing that should be obvious to you right now is that there are no magic "cures" to how you feel.  Rogaine wasn't doing it for you nor is the decision to pre-emptively shave.  Going sly doesn't automatically give you a Captain America physique. It doesn't turn you into a brilliant conversationalist. It doesn't give you movie star looks.  What most of us will tell you is that we feel better about ourselves and that comes across in how we interact with other people.

As to the cost in time and money, once you get the hang of it, shaving your head only takes about 10 minutes.  how long does it take to shampoo and style hair if you're trying to cover up your MPB. After shaving, you never worry about wind and rain because there's no hair to get messed up.  You'll use razors and shaving cream faster, but you don't need a barber / hairstylist every month and you don/t need shampoo, conditioners or gels. 

Lastly, even if it's a trade, it's a good one for most of us.  Look around any crowd of people and you'll see lots of bad hairstyles and unkempt mops.  Bald heads always look clean and sharp.

Offline Saitama

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #6 on: November 14, 2016, 09:12:17 PM »
It was a flood of emotions, so forgive me if I ended up saying anything offensive.

And well, these first three days have been a rollercoaster. There were moments when I looked in the mirror and thought "you know, this actually looks kinda good" and sometimes I felt like I'm a fool for trying to believe that people will accept me like this.

There were good experiences such as the likes my new profile picture got on FB and being told by the girl I'm seeing that it looks good. Then I went to my sister's birthday and my family's mean spirited jokes crushed me again.

I do agree with you guys that it is kinda silly to create all those expectations. It's a long psychological journey and I will only know anything for sure after the first month.



« Last Edit: November 14, 2016, 09:17:00 PM by Saitama »

Offline Sir_Harry_208

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #7 on: November 14, 2016, 11:52:54 PM »
Welcome to the group!

One of the things about this forum is we try to help newly sly guys deal with things such as nasty comments, anxiety, etc. It is indeed a journey that takes longer for some than others, but hang in there, in due time it won't be an issue for you nor outsiders.
Even when the d is removed, the devil is still evil.

Offline dshupe

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #8 on: November 15, 2016, 06:29:01 AM »
Welcome to the group! 



Offline socknoggle

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #9 on: November 15, 2016, 06:32:07 AM »
Welcome!  One thing to remember is to do what makes you happy.  If you can keep to the 30 day rule you'll find that people will get used to seeing you bald and accept it.  After a while they won't really notice the bald head, they'll just see you

I don't know if  Dollar Shave Club operates in Brazil, but that's where I get my blades.  I get 4 cartridges for $9 US a month.  I get a great shave for a great price.  And they come in the mail right to my house.  I'm sure you can find something like that there.  Otherwise, yeah, cartridges are expensive.  IMHO the expense is worth it. 

Offline Laser Man

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #10 on: November 15, 2016, 06:42:43 AM »
It was a flood of emotions, so forgive me if I ended up saying anything offensive.

And well, these first three days have been a rollercoaster. There were moments when I looked in the mirror and thought "you know, this actually looks kinda good" and sometimes I felt like I'm a fool for trying to believe that people will accept me like this.

There were good experiences such as the likes my new profile picture got on FB and being told by the girl I'm seeing that it looks good. Then I went to my sister's birthday and my family's mean spirited jokes crushed me again.

I do agree with you guys that it is kinda silly to create all those expectations. It's a long psychological journey and I will only know anything for sure after the first month.

It takes time for everyone to adjust to the change in appearance.  I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say I initially had some doubts about my "new look" and some comments did bother me.  I decided however that I liked being bald and that what other people said didn't really matter.  The important thing is for you to adjust and feel comfortable being sly - it's your head and your life.

Offline ThePangolin

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #11 on: November 15, 2016, 07:08:12 AM »
DSC looks great to the outsider but upon further background check on them, i found that they use general blades that are average quality, rebranded from anther major manufacturer (which i wont name just to be polite), and on the $9 a month plan youre paying $2.25 a cartridge. On Dorco you can get 16 cartridges for under $20, and they fit directly onto the headblade ATX or you can grab a $5 handle from Dorco. Thats $1.18 per cartridge and its free shipping on orders over $10.

Harry's has been a better deal for my dad, and they make thier own high quality blades that are sinfully sharp. He loves them, but i keep trying to get him to switch to Dorco blades with me. Also note that in case you haven't seen it before, the Headblade HB3/4/6 are all Dorco Pace 3/4/6 blades rebranded for headblade. If you like headblade cartridges, you can get them hella cheaper on Dorco.

Also note, DSC at $9 a month for four cartridges is one cartridge per week.

One cartridge per week of Dorco Pace 4's, is $1.18

You can get two and a quarter months worth of cartridges from Dorco rather than DSC. Just saying.



Offline buddha

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #12 on: November 16, 2016, 03:20:43 PM »
There were good experiences such as the likes my new profile picture got on FB and being told by the girl I'm seeing that it looks good. Then I went to my sister's birthday and my family's mean spirited jokes crushed me again.

I do agree with you guys that it is kinda silly to create all those expectations. It's a long psychological journey and I will only know anything for sure after the first month.

One of the old sayings that I kept in mind, not just for after I shaved my head but for a lot of other things as well is "those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind". But I have always been one of those people who doesn't mind "unfriending" people who I find offensive and that doesn't just include Facebook. I have dropped many people from my circle and, on occasion, that has included family. Once I felt like I had paid my dues I began to realize that people who love negativity have no place in my life because life can be sufficiently painful with all its own ups and downs to allow emotional parasites to drain the blood out of what happiness there is. When you come to realize that none of these people with the mean spirits are volunteering to pay any of your monthly bills and that losing them is not really going to come with a high price you'll find it easier to let them know that their input is not required and neither is their companionship.
As far as the head shaving it may be that it's not a good fit for you. But I would echo the 30 day challenge that has already been mentioned just to see if you can get to the point where you find that you actually like the smooth dome. It was not a big adjustment for me but I have been told on a number of occasions that I'm "different" so maybe that's what that means. In any case do what's right for you.
"Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it never really care for anything else thereafter."
Ernest Hemingway, On The Blue Water.

Offline Laser Man

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #13 on: November 17, 2016, 06:46:52 AM »
Saitama,

Don't let your family's jokes crush your spirit.  People don't like change - it's disruptive and so they fight back, in this case with mean jokes.  And comments from the people closest to us hurt the most.  As hard as it is, you have to look past their comments and decide what you want.  If after 30 days, you don't want to stay sly, that's fine.  If you want to stay sly, you'll find that as time passes, you'll feel more and more comfortable with it so any stray negative comment will not have any sting to it.

Offline jbrit25

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #14 on: November 18, 2016, 06:19:07 AM »
In a way it is a trade I guess. I traded being worried about losing my hair for a new look and less stress. I also traded being worried if people noticed my bald spot. Life is full of trades my friend. This is a good one in my opinion.
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