50 year old man with earring

[paperclip]

Wow, she packed her bags and ran home to mom? I don't know what to say about that that might not cause offense so Ima leave it alone.
As for me I'm 62, got 2 holes in the left ear and one in the right. Currently I wear a pair of 10 gauge black metal hoops, one on each side. The second hole in my left ear is currently empty but now that I'm thinking about it.....
I've been shaving my head for 15 years and my wife has never been a rabid fan of it. She thinks I would look better with the Larry Finklestein look; bald on top with a shoulder-blade length horseshoe. When we've had discussions about it I reminded her that I don't dictate her agenda at the beauty parlor. My body=my decision. Period. I don't get to decide much around here but I had to draw the line somewhere and my own human self is where that happens to be. I get no input, however, on other stuff like furniture, dishes, etc.
OK, I know I was going to stay away from this but I can't. Your wife hitting you with the "E" word because of an earring implies a profound lack of respect. Men take a beating in this society every day and at some point, even if it ends with us living alone, it has to be addressed. I mean you don't know me and I don't know you but that part of your post really pisses me off and makes me feel badly for you because, well, we're guys and us guys have to stick together. I don't know, brother, maybe see if she's up for couples' therapy or maybe just get in there and talk to someone yourself. Or maybe just put the other earring in and let her run home to mommy again. Maybe change the locks while she's gone. I don't think legal precedent has been set on a man having to pay alimony because his wife doesn't like his choice of jewelry. But we all have to draw our lines in the sand at some point. Maybe this is not the issue for you and maybe it is. Your decision. Keep us posted.
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I agree. this was all 10 years ago when I turned 40. I was going through a bit of a mid life crisis but what pisses me off is that she can go out and get her hair done and nails manicured and painted, and get a pedicure and nails painted and wear whatever she wants. that's fine. I don't have a problem with that. but why does she do all these things?? Why does anyone do these things?  to feel good about herself(she has low self esteem issues) and I'm all for making yourself look nice, but I tried to grow a beard last year and well, guess what she doesn't like beards. I will give her that one because I don't really like them(on me) either I just did it for a change. they're fine for other guys. I've gotten rid of it and I'm fine with that, but all I wanted was to wear one GD earring in my right ear to match my left and WW3 broke out. It's just not fair...but then life isn't fair.
but I get what you're saying and I agree. her running home was a knee jerk reaction at the time and it blew over a few hours later, but it shows the kind of situation I'm dealing with. She has very strong opinions about things and is very stubborn, she tolerates the one earring and it bugs me that she doesn't like it, but what can I do. I can't make her like it, but she has to realize that people should be able to do what they want(within reason) and wear what they want (again within reason) and she should just deal with it.
I don't know the solution. This earring wearing phase will probably all blow over in a few weeks and I'll probably take the damn thing out and go back to live a boring life...

thanks for your comments, and don't worry about offending. i don't offend easily. Nothing you said in your post was offensive in any way...

[paperclip]

When i see older guys with earings i do tend to think that they are trying to hold onto their younger days or are trying look cool but its a personal thing. If you are happy then thats all that matters! Good luck

I think this way sometimes but is there any reason why young people should have all the fun and once we are old we should forget about our appearance and forget about trying  to express ourselves and forget about trying to look cool?
Yeah, sometimes I feel a little silly with an earring at my age, but then I think, you know what I could be dead tomorrow and did it really matter that I had a stud in my ear? in the grand scheme of things an earrings on guys is so inconsequential to all the crap going on in the world and I'm just trying to have a little fun in my (old) age 

[paperclip]

had an interesting response to the earring this past weekend. i've been wearing a black stud for about a month or so now. no one really mentions anything about it. I've been nervous in some situations (church) but no one at church said anything and I find myself looking around at all the other guys to see if anyone has an earring. 2 weeks ago another gentleman around my age had a stud earring and this past Sunday a younger (30's?) guy had two earrings in his left ear. so I'm not the only one then.

but on Sunday my wife and son and I were invited to a BBQ for a friend of my wife's. she is very opinionated and outspoken and surprisingly hasn't mentioned the earring when she's talked to me over the past couple of months.

Well on Sunday she finally said something and it caught me a little off guard. she said "Oh I see you're wearing the earring again. Good. Nothing wrong with it".  I almost fainted. I was sure she would have made fun of me. i was totally shocked. My wife didn't say anything.

both my wife and I and her friend are former members of the same ultraconservative church(cult) that forbade men from wearing earrings so I think she looks on this as sort of my rebelling against that church(which it is partly).

so there you have it. sometimes the people we think are going to make fun of us are really on board with our crazy ideas. you never know what reaction you are going to get and need to be prepared for anything...

[BUELLIGAN]

I'm 54, I've had my ear pierced since I was 14. Got my first tattoo when I was 40 now have 2 full sleeves
With more to come. You're never too old, if people don't like it........f**k 'em

[paperclip]

I'm 54, I've had my ear pierced since I was 14. Got my first tattoo when I was 40 now have 2 full sleeves
With more to come. You're never too old, if people don't like it........f**k 'em

Damn right you're never too old. I would love to get a tattoo, but it's the $$$ that's stopping me. piercing is a lot cheaper. if I won the lottery the first thing I would do is get a tattoo. the wife might have something to say about that, tho.

[Razor X]

I'm 54, I've had my ear pierced since I was 14. Got my first tattoo when I was 40 now have 2 full sleeves
With more to come. You're never too old, if people don't like it........f**k 'em

Damn right you're never too old. I would love to get a tattoo, but it's the $$$ that's stopping me. piercing is a lot cheaper. if I won the lottery the first thing I would do is get a tattoo. the wife might have something to say about that, tho.

If the lottery win is big enough, she might not care.   

[MunkyMunk]

My wife and I have made explicit over the years that we are each committed to our own personal exploration and growth as well as to each other's. We've seen each other go through brave periods of personal growth as well as embarrassing phases. We don't always agree with the other's choices, but we realize that to stagnate is to die a little.
Over the course of the 14 years we've been married, we've both become "different people," but because we've done it together, we haven't grown apart.
I thank the Gods that I've changed from the man she married and I'm so proud of the areas in which she's stretched and grown, both personally and professionally. We're both better partners and better parents than we used to be.
I've had my ears pierced since around 1984. Most of my upper body is tattooed. And now my head is shaved. And my wife rolls with it. She has given birth to three kids, which has caused its own changes to her body. We each love who the other was, is, and is becoming.
Of all the things you could be doing to your body, earrings are such a benign thing to get upset about.
Hang in there. Once she sees that you're still the guy she loves, she could come around.

[paperclip]

Yeah, you are right MunkyMunk. Hopefully she's come to that point now, that its so trivial its not a big deal.
I mentioned earlier that she freaked out on me for piercing my right ear to match my left. this was 10 years ago when I turned 40. I was so upset at the time that I took the earring out of my left ear and didn't wear one for a long time. There was another reason I stopped wearing it but it's too long to go into here. Suffice it to say that we have both matured over the last 10 years.
I turned 50 last spring and started wearing an earring again in May. She never said anything about it. My boss at work (female mid 50s) suggested I wear earrings in both ears as it was more trendy.  she knows the history with my wife and agreed that I not do anything I wasn't comfortable with. I pierced my right ear in July and only wore it when my wife wasn't around which is difficult for healing purposes. To get around this little problem, I decided to wear the earring in only in my right ear so I was technically only wearing it in one ear( she was OK with one ear). the whole "gay ear, right ear" thing is so ancient history, so I wasn't worried. she saw the earring in the right ear while driving her to work one day and said "are you wearing 2 earrings?" and I said "no" because technically I wasn't--at that moment. she then said "it looks infected". it turned out that it was a few days later so I took it out of my right ear and started wearing it in my left ear again. No comment from the wife at all.
Now September I got bold and pierced my right ear again and again only wore the right ear around my wife and both when she was at work and i was at work.
she was in a good mood the other day and I felt like "this is the time" she won't be mad at me if I wear it in both ears, she's in too good of a mood. so I wore them in both ears when she got home from work. No comment. We went to two family functions over the weekend (Canada-Thanksgiving) and no one made a comment. no one at all. I was totally shocked and surprised.
so I'm happily wearing earrings in both ears at work and at home around my wife. I'm still a little nervous that she will comment about it, but she hasn't so far. so either she has matured a lot in the last 10 years or she really doesn't care. She's never said she liked it, just not commented at all...

[MunkyMunk]

Marriage is a funny thing. Two people partnering and navigating all of life's challenges together, throughout all kinds of things. It's amazing. And every marriage and every couple has their things which challenge more than others. That is life.
My best to you both, paperclip. It's a journey. 

[Aussie Sly Guy]

I'm 28 and I have 3 sleepers in my left lobe and 2 in my right helix.

[paperclip]

Marriage is a funny thing. Two people partnering and navigating all of life's challenges together, throughout all kinds of things. It's amazing. And every marriage and every couple has their things which challenge more than others. That is life.
My best to you both, paperclip. It's a journey. 

Thanks. Marriage is a journey. I'm pretty lucky to have a supporting wife. She's never had an issue with the bald head. Some guys get lots of grief about it but I never did.
Love your avatar BTW.