Author Topic: The Big 3-0  (Read 9602 times)

Offline BigKen

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The Big 3-0
« on: May 02, 2017, 03:31:52 PM »
To my fellow SBG Members,

I’m hitting a milestone, as I turn 30 later this month. Even though, I have a mostly positive outlook about my upcoming age, I still feel a lot of uncertainty about the 30’s in general and what to expect. I guess I’m just a little nervous.

Sometimes I wish I could turn back time or slow it down so I could accomplish or change certain things such as career goals, love life, the type of stuff people are typically expected to experience in their 20’s.
 
What I’d like to know from you guys is as follows: How were your thirties? Were they a lot different than your 20’s? If so, in what way(s)? What was the best thing that happened to you in your 30’s? What advice do you have for me on how to approach/live my 30’s? Any feedback is much appreciated by me; thanks fellas!

Big Ken



Offline Sir Harry

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Re: The Big 3-0
« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2017, 04:52:10 AM »
Happy birthday in advance, Ken!

One of the worst things in life that we can do (in my opinion) is to play the "what if" or the "what might have been game". Unfortunately, life doesn't have a reset or rewind button, but there's always a reason for things happening in our lives whether it's good or bad.

Luckily for you, 30 is still fairly young and you can still accomplish many of the goals stated in your post. Time has taught me that one of the biggest keys to your happiness is to not compare  yourself to others. Our lives are just that, our lives. There is no shame in being somewhat envious of another friend's/family member's success, as long as it doesn't become an obsession.

As far as my time in my 30's I think that the best thing to happen to me was the two trips I made to Iraq was the best thing to happen to me. It made me appreciate the things that I had at home and it made me realize that when you have it bad, someone else always has it worse. Thanks to my service, I also was able to land my current job which I celebrated my 10th anniversary there last month. When comparing my 30's to my 20's, my 30's were better on the grounds that I was able to purchase my own house, and after leaving the active Army for the National Guard I was able to find a steady job instead of working multiple low paying jobs.

My advice to you, Ken, is if there something you want to do in life, and it doesn't cause any emotional or physical harm to you or someone else, go for it...And remember, YOLO (You Only Live Once) is a good motto but be careful when you follow that motto.
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Offline slybeard

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Re: The Big 3-0
« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2017, 08:40:23 AM »
Really 30 is just a number.  Nothing is going to change over night after you birthday.  Maturity is a process that begins at birth and never really ends.

For me, 30's was the time when I had children.  My oldest was born when I was 32.  That changed things for me much more than my age.
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Offline BigKen

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Re: The Big 3-0
« Reply #3 on: May 08, 2017, 02:34:40 PM »
Thank you so much, Harry!! I really admire the time you take to thoughtfully respond to other member's concerns and questions like mine; I also appreciate the birthday greeting! You hit the nail with your quote "Our lives are just that, our lives". That pretty much sums it up.  I also love your advice about going for things. I'm a big believer in "carpe diem (seize the day)", as I mentioned when I first joined this group. It's time I start practicing more of what I believe in!

Happy birthday in advance, Ken!

One of the worst things in life that we can do (in my opinion) is to play the "what if" or the "what might have been game". Unfortunately, life doesn't have a reset or rewind button, but there's always a reason for things happening in our lives whether it's good or bad.

Luckily for you, 30 is still fairly young and you can still accomplish many of the goals stated in your post. Time has taught me that one of the biggest keys to your happiness is to not compare  yourself to others. Our lives are just that, our lives. There is no shame in being somewhat envious of another friend's/family member's success, as long as it doesn't become an obsession.

As far as my time in my 30's I think that the best thing to happen to me was the two trips I made to Iraq was the best thing to happen to me. It made me appreciate the things that I had at home and it made me realize that when you have it bad, someone else always has it worse. Thanks to my service, I also was able to land my current job which I celebrated my 10th anniversary there last month. When comparing my 30's to my 20's, my 30's were better on the grounds that I was able to purchase my own house, and after leaving the active Army for the National Guard I was able to find a steady job instead of working multiple low paying jobs.

My advice to you, Ken, is if there something you want to do in life, and it doesn't cause any emotional or physical harm to you or someone else, go for it...And remember, YOLO (You Only Live Once) is a good motto but be careful when you follow that motto.

Offline Tyler

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Re: The Big 3-0
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2017, 04:32:11 PM »
I had a blast in my 20's and had even more fun in my 30's. I actually hit the big 4-0 at the beginning of June. In my 30's I started to appreciate the things that really matter in life which made life even more fun. I worried less about what other people thought and more about what I wanted to have in life.  As SlyBeard mentioned above, it's just a number, but I think your positive outlook with added maturity will bring you another happy decade and more.
People are not limited by the circumstance that they are born in. They are limited by the size of their dreams. Show them that their dreams can have no limits and in turn their accomplishments can be limitless.

Offline Razor X

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Re: The Big 3-0
« Reply #5 on: May 12, 2017, 09:29:06 PM »
I had a blast in my 20's and had even more fun in my 30's. I actually hit the big 4-0 at the beginning of June.

I hate that you're almost 40!

Offline wpruitt

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Re: The Big 3-0
« Reply #6 on: May 13, 2017, 12:14:35 PM »
Age is just a number!  It's all about attitude and frame of mind!
"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat." - Theodore Roosevelt

Offline BigKen

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Re: The Big 3-0
« Reply #7 on: May 13, 2017, 01:21:33 PM »
Age is just a number!  It's all about attitude and frame of mind!

O0

Offline Tyler

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Re: The Big 3-0
« Reply #8 on: May 14, 2017, 03:14:17 PM »
I had a blast in my 20's and had even more fun in my 30's. I actually hit the big 4-0 at the beginning of June.

I hate that you're almost 40!

LOL!
People are not limited by the circumstance that they are born in. They are limited by the size of their dreams. Show them that their dreams can have no limits and in turn their accomplishments can be limitless.

Offline Lew

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Re: The Big 3-0
« Reply #9 on: May 15, 2017, 06:54:28 AM »
Thirty is still very young.  As others have mentioned, you still have time to do plenty of things you wished you would have done sooner.  I remember my thirties well, because I used to be morbidly obese (260 plus pounds) and lost 115 pounds in the span of seven months.  At 34 my hair had completely thinned out and two years later I spent the next 15 years going to Hair Club as I helplessly drowned in the sea of hair loss denial.  I am now in my fifties and having the time of my life.  No, I'm not having a midlife crisis, because crisis implies conflict.  I'm having a midlife clarity.  I'm enjoying my 50s more than my 30s or even my 40s.  My point is not to worry about turning thirty.  Make choices that you feel good about and at the end of the day your age is irrelevant.  Enjoy, endure, and embrace your life!

Offline BigKen

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Re: The Big 3-0
« Reply #10 on: May 15, 2017, 02:21:42 PM »
I had a blast in my 20's and had even more fun in my 30's. I actually hit the big 4-0 at the beginning of June. In my 30's I started to appreciate the things that really matter in life which made life even more fun. I worried less about what other people thought and more about what I wanted to have in life.  As SlyBeard mentioned above, it's just a number, but I think your positive outlook with added maturity will bring you another happy decade and more.

Good words of encouragement & wisdom from the King of SBG, thank you Ty!! That's great you are also hitting a milestone very soon! How do you feel about turning 40?

Offline BigKen

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Re: The Big 3-0
« Reply #11 on: May 15, 2017, 02:43:43 PM »
Thirty is still very young.  As others have mentioned, you still have time to do plenty of things you wished you would have done sooner.  I remember my thirties well, because I used to be morbidly obese (260 plus pounds) and lost 115 pounds in the span of seven months.  At 34 my hair had completely thinned out and two years later I spent the next 15 years going to Hair Club as I helplessly drowned in the sea of hair loss denial.  I am now in my fifties and having the time of my life.  No, I'm not having a midlife crisis, because crisis implies conflict.  I'm having a midlife clarity.  I'm enjoying my 50s more than my 30s or even my 40s.  My point is not to worry about turning thirty.  Make choices that you feel good about and at the end of the day your age is irrelevant.  Enjoy, endure, and embrace your life!

Well you definitely don't look like you are in your 50's, Lew! Living a happy and honest life must be some of the reasons you have aged well. "Enjoy, endure, and embrace your life!", I love it! I appreciate the words of wisdom!

Oh yeah, how did you loose 115 pounds in seven months?? That's amazing!

Offline mrzed

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Re: The Big 3-0
« Reply #12 on: May 15, 2017, 10:11:10 PM »
I enjoy life. Turning 60 was fun, too! now I get reduced prices at many places!

I got married in my 30's

Fathered three girls.

Moved to a new city, same job.

Discovered what 'seasonal affective order' is/was and that explained why I feel crappy in the winters when the light is low. 

Still full of energy for whatever life throws at me in my 30's.

I'm a bit slower in my 60's but I enjoy that too. I don't have to be fast and do everything. Time to enjoy life and choose the best activities.

May is a good month to be born in  (not that you have much choice).  I move up a year in a few weeks.  Not quite 65 yet.




Offline StillLurking

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Re: The Big 3-0
« Reply #13 on: May 16, 2017, 07:07:00 PM »
This thread really made me think.  I’ve had a quiet life, so my 20’s to 30’s to 40’s all look pretty constant.  I’ve been fortunate enough to have the same job since after college.  And due to my combination of low self-esteem and obesity, I’ve never dated, so a spouse and children were never in the cards for me.  I’m in my mid-40’s (or extremely late 30’s, as I like to say) and what have I done?

But then again, I’ve traveled across the US and to a bunch of different countries, worked weekends at a radio station for a few years, had a play I wrote produced… so it hasn’t all been one big blur.  It’s how you look at it; instead of regretting not having something or having done something, look at what you have or have done.

So the first advice I’d give is that time is an illusion.  We are living in one big NOW, so don’t “wait for the right time” to do something.  Make like Nike and “just do it.”  Unless health issues prevent it, it’s never too late to try a new experience or walk a new path.

Which leads to a warning: with age, you do slow down.  Aches and pain crop up, you don’t bounce back from injuries as fast, you get exhausted.  I thought I’d never give up volunteering backstage at my local theatre, but the grind of six shows a year, three weekend each show… I cut back to just ushering for a few seasons, and then, after about 25 years, gave it up altogether.  And as much as I loved it, never for a moment regretted leaving it.  You don’t get too old, but you do get too tired.

Oh, and another thing you notice: everyone starts dying.  First my brother, then ten years later my mother, and another ten years later (just a few weeks ago) my father.  I’ve no family left, which is something I never really anticipated, though it would seem obvious as the youngest I would be the last man standing.

And it’s harder to make friends, because by your 30’s, most people are starting families and have no time for new friends.  In fact, they start weeding away old friends who just aren’t that close.  I’ve never had any friends, due to my social anxiety.  I belonged to a bunch of clubs, volunteered all over, yet didn’t know how to talk to people.  So I saw a therapist, worked on exercises to “put myself out there” more, and discovered that most people my age or older are at a different place in life, and most people younger are from a different world.  (Cell phones?  Social media?  I want nothing to do with any of that!)  So I still can’t connect with people.

Anyway, maybe I’m the least qualified to voice an opinion, since I’ve always been intellectually older and emotionally younger than my chronologic age, but thanks for letting me babble.

Offline Tyler

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Re: The Big 3-0
« Reply #14 on: May 17, 2017, 06:57:12 PM »
StillLurking, we all have our own experiences and thank you for sharing yours!  By being open and sharing your experiences it will help others connect with you and could lead to friendships.

What kind of radio station did you work for?
People are not limited by the circumstance that they are born in. They are limited by the size of their dreams. Show them that their dreams can have no limits and in turn their accomplishments can be limitless.