2 Years after Transplant: Anxiety Over Shaving Head

[thinningtopz]

First, let me say this is an incredible forum.   I would give anything to have found this forum 3 years ago!

I'm now 33 and noticed my hair really started thinning while in graduate school in my mid 20's and by the time I was 28, I was so self conscious about it that I had a hard time coming to grips with the situation.   By the time I was 29, I experienced so much anxiety over shaving my head that I panicked and underwent a hair transplant.    They did around 1700 units from the strip.    But of course my hair kept thinning.   At my 1 year follow up with the surgeon, they played my insecurities and anxieties like a fiddle and I agreed to undergo another 1700.    For a few months, it was decent but the grafts were definitely more distributed towards the front and the back and middle of my head were thinning at even a faster rate than before.   To make matters worse, the strip scar after the second procedure had a very tough time healing and I'm now left with a noticeably raised scar.

At this point, I feel even worse about how things look and I really have been trying to push myself towards taking the plunge and shaving my head.   As you can see in the pics, I try a comb over but even that has now thinned out.    Every 2 months when I get my hair cut I keep telling myself it's time to shave, but I just can't get over the anxiety of not knowing what to expect.

I'm terribly ashamed of the two procedures.   But shaving my head almost seems worse because I think it may just announce my poor decisions to everyone.    It's not just about the scar from the strip, but I also think the follicle distributions will leave me with a triangular horseshoe in the front with nothing behind it......just screams transplant.  

I could really use some advice from a crowd who can relate to my story.    Thank you!

[Razor X]

 But shaving my head almost seems worse because I think it may just announce my poor decisions to everyone.  

Here's another way to look at it:  People who notice the scars and know what caused them will realize that you shaved your head after being unhappy about the results of the transplant.  It could cause someone else not to make the same mistake.

I've seen shaved heads with transplant scars and they're usually not that bad.  The only way to find out for sure is to try it.  Remember, shaving is reversible and you can always grow the hair back to the way it is now.  There are also dermabrasion techniques that you can have done to minimize the appearance of the scars.  Some of the guys here have  had it done and can advise you.

[sailor61]

We're human - we learn from our experiences.  You tried the transplant, you've learned that result is not what you wanted and you're considering trying another approach.  Not a big deal - if you don't like sly it'll grow back. Most likely the scaars will not be as apparent as you fear.  Try it,you'll probably like it.  Keep us posted.  Look at it this way, sly is bound to be a lot less $ than another round of transplants.

[chgobuzzbald]

Dont feel bad i did the same thing with many many hundreds of transplants... Im now having good results with a Pixel brand fractional laser every 4 weeks which has smoothed out the scars, reduced redness and stimulated the surrounding skin to make the size of the scars smaller. My derm never tried this before but now has other patients besides me with transplant scars they are working on with the laser. This is new territory for them but we are aggressively doing it on me. Each time I go he turns up the intensity of the laser for a deeper penetration. So far the results are a noticeable improvement. I was young and insecure. This forum didnt exist back then but it does today. Feel free to send a private message.

[buddha]

At my 1 year follow up with the surgeon, they played my insecurities and anxieties like a fiddle and I agreed to undergo another 1700.    
I'm terribly ashamed of the two procedures.  

First I want to say how much this pi$$e$ me off. Not at you! I personally find it offensive that some "quack" who calls himself a "surgeon" has the audacity to, as you put it, "played (my) insecurities and anxieties like a fiddle". I don't think that YOU have anything to feel ashamed of. You are a human being like me or anyone else in this forum and as such you have insecurity and anxiety built in. In my humble opinion it is this "surgeon" who should feel ashamed. He actually has the nerve to refer to himself as a doctor.....I find that laughable. He's nothing more than a wig salesman only less honest.
 

[paragon]

If you've come to the conclusion that continuing the transplants isn't the right way, that's a great step forward already!
Before taking another step in any direction, just keep this in mind: more surgical procedures will always have more side effects, you can't escape that, ant it isn't reversible. BUT shaving is reversible. Yes it will be kind of awkward in the first month, because everybody who shaved their head found it a bit awkward the first time. That's actually good news because it means it just takes time for that head to get used to being exposed. This is not magic.

The first thing I would do is to find something SAFE that can minimize the visibility of the scar. Do write a PM to chgobuzzbald and ask about that laser. Another thing you would want to do is to get proper skin care every day. This is actually harder until you shave, but after you are shaved just go and think about how many people are complaining about dandruff, or about oily hair and oily skin below that. If you see a bald guy who's been shaving for more than a few months, the one thing you see is smooth, healthy skin. After starting shaving your head, you will start using some nice after shave balm, some nice face wash gel on it at least twice a day and some non greasy moisturizer or stuff like that once a day. These stuff are cheap because they last you almost half a year even if used daily, because you use only just a bit. But the effect is obvious. Nice clean, shiny head that's taken care of.

Once you make the step and after the scars will be somewhat reduced, it'll take a month to get your white scalp to be more like your forehead. After that, all your worries are instantly gone. The one thing you do is shave and clean.

If you would ask your skin which way would he prefer,  he'll go with shaving and taken care of, nice, clean, smooth and healthy. Your skin would choose that and you know that.

[thinningtopz]

Thanks for the comments.   They should have a legal requirement for every person sitting in a "hair clinic" to read this site before they sign on to do a transplant.    

I made a huge first step last night and went buzz with a #3 clipper.     It's not full sly style, but I already feel better---like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.     I didn't have to think about how best to comb over this morning, or worry about taking my hat off in a restaurant and I can already feel like I've let the air out on what had become a source of all-day, constant anxiety.  

I honestly feel like a new man.    The next step is taking it down closer.   It will definitely help with the manufactured widows peak I'm sporting, but it will take some more courage to face down the full exhibition of those scars in the back.    

I guess now I should start researching sunblocks for the head  

[Redgrave101]

Glad to hear your doing better! Now to go all the way and stick with it for at least 30 days to see how you like it!
Then you won't have to worry about ANY thinning on top!

[ms61]

Little late on this post but my advice is......Shave it!I went through the same thing except i was 19 when i had the HT done and again suckered in at 22.There is a scar there but its not that bad i say F it!If my scars are not that bad then yours should/will be less noticable because you had the procedure later then me.It is what it is!I would like to know how you have proceeded.Feel free to PM me if you need an ear.

[sam2021]

do the 30 day chalange posted on the forum.  I work at a hospital and make new nurses blush and giggle when i point to my scars and tell how i got them.  Korea, Iraq, Afg, and Mog.  Dude you life is told in the scars and tattoos we have.

[newyorksly]

I'm new to this site and am in the same boat.  I started losing my hair when I was in college and was insecure about it so I went the route of HT's.  I'm now 40 and wish I'd never done it.   Regardless of what they tell you in the end it's not natural and I end up being anxious all the time about how the hair that is left on my head looks.   I've had 20 years of this, it's not worth it.  I'm seriously thinking about shaving my head and the only thing holding me back right now is concerns over the HT scar.

I'm just starting to look into what can be done about the scar.  If anybody has gone through this and has advice I'd appreciate it. 

If anybody's out there is thinking about having a hair transplant.  DON'T DO IT.  Even if you get a good doctor and get good initial results, in the long run you'll continue to lose hair and the worst part is you'll go on worrying about it.  Accept that you're losing your hair, take control, shave it off and be proud.

[Frontier Guy]

Welcome newyorksly.  There are several fellows here who have had HT and have now gone to shaving their heads, with great results. The anxieties were very much overblown. I hope they will see this and add their responses. But if not, you might want to post a topic with a subject more direct like "Have a HT, want to go sly and need advice" or something like that.

Regardless, I think you are worried too much about what other people will think (most times others don't even notice what we are so worried about). The sense of relief and freedom will be exhilarating for you.

Good luck. Hope you'll stick around. This is an awesome site and the guys here have a variety of backgrounds and experiences and are genuinely interesting in helping other guys with hair 'issues.'

[waine]

It has been a year since "Thinningtopz" posted his dilemma.  It would be nice if he posted again here to tell us how it went and whether he eventually went totally Sly.  Its threads like this that are so helpful in enlightening others with similar anxieties.

[chgobuzzbald]

When we are young we do things that end up as learning lessons later in life that usually teach us we were just being insecure. From this we learn to be confident and project that. Confidence is sought after and prized by mates, employers, friends etc. We all come to it in different ways. The ones to be sad for are those that never find it. This site helps many find it. Even those of us with old HT scars. I have tried a fractional laser will some good results and 100% silicone gel which reduces all scars. I may try some micro pigmentation. No matter what I learned confidence. SOmetimes when life is too easy it just means you dont make much out of it or learn much.

[waine]

@chgobuzzbald

Insecurity and poor self esteem is a massive problem among many men worldwide.   I am no exception.  Confidence is a quality highly prized and one that will get many men far in life.  As I have aged more, I have developed a better self esteem.  That’s one of the beauties of aging, I think.  Since going Sly, my confidence has magically increased and I have never been more confident.  Perhaps it is a combination of age and a willful decision to not give a damn about hair loss which has translated into a massive overall confidence booster.