Author Topic: Sly jokes about oneself  (Read 19244 times)

Offline PatZeeB

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Sly jokes about oneself
« on: April 17, 2013, 05:10:18 PM »
Being the somewhat funny guy I am, I'm always making jokes. Sometimes when people point out my head, and acknowledge it with a joke. AND its not the bad/ashamed acknowledgement either, its the "I'm super cool and I know it" type of acknowledgements or jokes. I bring it out; people love it. Even got a head rub from two hot girls the other day too haha.

What are some of your guys' jokes?

When people talk about hairstyles, I jump in and be like "I think my hair's pretty cool."
Jokingly talk about getting a haircut, trim, etc.
Talk about favorite types of shampoos.

Anyone?



Offline stasiu

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Re: Sly jokes about oneself
« Reply #1 on: April 17, 2013, 05:36:28 PM »
As my avatar pic caption states "All Dressed Up And No Hair To Go" is a sly joke of mine.  Another one "Did Anyone Else Feel Those Rain Drops?".  Another "This Humidity Is Playing Havoc On My Eyebrows".  Or "Not On My Head, Not On My Chest But All On My Legs".

Offline smoothsailing

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Re: Sly jokes about oneself
« Reply #2 on: April 17, 2013, 06:46:00 PM »
Them: "Wow, you cut your hair!"
Me    : "Yah, all of them!"

Them: "Hey, baldy!"
Me    : "Sup, hairy?"

After coming in from the rain: "How's my hair look?"
or "Wow I hate wet hair.  That's your problem now :D

Offline -Doug-

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Re: Sly jokes about oneself
« Reply #3 on: April 17, 2013, 08:00:58 PM »
I ask if anyone has a comb if I am about to be in a group photo.
Life has three aspects: Paradox, Humor, and Change.

Paradox: Life is a mystery; don't waste time figuring it out.
Humor: Keep a sense of humor, especially about yourself. It is a strength beyond all measure
Change: Know that nothing stays the same.

Offline Paul

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Re: Sly jokes about oneself
« Reply #4 on: April 17, 2013, 08:32:52 PM »
Kids at my high school are not allowed to wear hats so when I see one, I tell them "If my heads not cold, your's isn't"   
"...and I--I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."  Robert Frost

Offline buddha

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Re: Sly jokes about oneself
« Reply #5 on: April 18, 2013, 08:06:40 AM »
And the old stand-by "Solar panel for a sex machine".
"Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it never really care for anything else thereafter."
Ernest Hemingway, On The Blue Water.

Offline sahil15

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Re: Sly jokes about oneself
« Reply #6 on: April 18, 2013, 03:24:18 PM »
Let me tell you a tale about the three hairs and baldilock

Offline smoothsailing

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Re: Sly jokes about oneself
« Reply #7 on: April 18, 2013, 04:36:59 PM »
And the old stand-by "Solar panel for a sex machine".


hahajajaj good one

Offline gutsygirl

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Re: Sly jokes about oneself
« Reply #8 on: April 25, 2013, 11:33:28 PM »
GREAT THREAD!!!  Keep em coming! 

When kids ask what happened to my hair (most have never seen a proudly bald woman before), I come up with something like...

"I sneezed a bit hard and my I blew my hair off."

"I was driving in the car with the windows down, and the wind blew so hard all my hair flew away!  That's why when Mom tells you to keep your head inside the car, you really should!"

"Ever heard your Mom say she was so frustrated she could pull her hair out?  Keep her happy!"

"I got scared and my hair jumped up and ran away, but I was too slow to catch it."

"Geez I need a haircut!"

You should watch those kids' eyes get HUGE and buggy as they try to figure me out!!   :@`
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Offline Hingatao

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Re: Sly jokes about oneself
« Reply #9 on: April 26, 2013, 01:23:29 PM »
It's always fun to keep the guessing isn't it?
Hair is over rated.

Offline Focus

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Re: Sly jokes about oneself
« Reply #10 on: May 24, 2013, 04:28:27 PM »
This very morning, I was bringing my son to school and a tired mother told me :
"I'm sick of all this rain!"
I answered :
"Yeah, my blow-dry is destroyed!"

Once, a woman asked a woman I was with :
"Your hair is so beautiful! What kind of shampoo do you use?"
She answered the unknown woman.
Then, I couldn't resist to add :
"Now, do you wish to know what kind of shampoo I use?"

Offline Focus

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Re: Sly jokes about oneself
« Reply #11 on: May 24, 2013, 04:43:17 PM »
The other day I was learning chair massage techniques (known as AMMA).

I was working with a female partner - each massaging the other. When it was my turn to be massaged on the head, I told her :
"Please, don't mess up my hair."

This kind of joke is great when you wish to break the ice among people who don't know each other. People do not burst out laughing, but cannot do anything else than at least smiling, at best laughing.

Offline jedge01

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Re: Sly jokes about oneself
« Reply #12 on: May 24, 2013, 05:38:17 PM »
My haircut is upside down..

For my kids.. You're gonna make me pull my hair out!

Offline CraftyGuy

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Re: Sly jokes about oneself
« Reply #13 on: May 24, 2013, 08:04:22 PM »
It's not having less hair, it's getting more head!
MikeC




Offline Quetzalcoatl

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Re: Re: Sly jokes about oneself
« Reply #14 on: May 24, 2013, 09:10:42 PM »
"My brain needed some air"

"My hair just couldn't handle me"

"I have too much testosterone for my own good"

I also work in a bakery where by law we have to wear hairnets, no exceptions, so whenever someone asks me why I have to wear one with no hair I say either:

"To keep my dandruff outta your pie"

or

"My head is just too shiney and radiant for my coworkers to handle"

One I use if I'm confident the customer isn't a prude:

"Well, I don't know if you've noticed, but I've got quite a beautiful head, and we've got to keep these floors dry somehow..."

 



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