Author Topic: Going bald... and the insecurities that go with it  (Read 17987 times)

Offline rfn

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Going bald... and the insecurities that go with it
« on: September 08, 2011, 01:10:31 PM »
Hi Guys

I came across this site while trying to come to terms with my hairloss.  I'm turning 23 in a week's time, and based on the rate that I'm going at now, it looks like I'll have a power-donut by the time I hit 26 or 27.  I've given a lot of thought to shaving everything off, but I'm pretty insecure over the shape of my skull. 

I have two flat spots at the back of my skull and a substantial dent at the left of my skull, towards the back.  I'd say the dent is about 5cm long, 1.5cm wide and 0.5cm deep.  I'm really worried that I'll look like a circus freak if I shave my head.  I've even considered trying to find some form of surgery to patch up the dent.

Apart from shaving, I see two other options; 1.)  try and salvage what I have left, and 2.) start wearing a hat - permanently.  I'm pretty sick of trying to stick with option 1, since I spend hours trying to make the hair that I have left look decent, and I'm never really happy with the way it looks.

I've mentioned shaving to two people, and neither of them thought that it would suit me.  I'm not sure if I'll be able to live with criticism, since I'm already pretty stressed out over going bald.  I'm not skinny, but I could probably buff up a bit to do more justice to the sly look.

I've attached a photo of the top of my noggin.

Any thoughts?



Offline Razor X

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Re: Going bald... and the insecurities that go with it
« Reply #1 on: September 08, 2011, 01:17:07 PM »
Apart from shaving, I see two other options; 1.)  try and salvage what I have left, and 2.) start wearing a hat - permanently.  I'm pretty sick of trying to stick with option 1, since I spend hours trying to make the hair that I have left look decent, and I'm never really happy with the way it looks.

Neither of these is a viable option.  I say shave it and see what it looks like. If you're uncomfortable with this perceived "dent" then let some hair grow back and keep it buzzed as short as you can while still concealing the problem area.

Offline Chavster

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Re: Going bald... and the insecurities that go with it
« Reply #2 on: September 08, 2011, 01:19:57 PM »
Hey rfn :)

I'm probably not the best guy to ask because I think even MPB looks better than a full head of hair, but I agree with the Razor dude. Shave it and see. At the very very worst, if you totally hate it, the hair will grow back and then you can check out other options. I dont suffer with MPB so I dont know for sure, but I'd imagine shaving it off would give you a whole new type of confidence.

Offline D.A.L.U.I.

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Re: Going bald... and the insecurities that go with it
« Reply #3 on: September 08, 2011, 01:26:59 PM »
The photo would seem to indicate mpb--and as you'll see on this site it's not the end of the world as you know it.  Head shape is one of the two or three most often mentioned fears of guys like you who come here--ranking right of there with losing hair in the first place.  I can't remember any who having shaved the dying mop off could be considered to have a weird shaped head. 
You look like you're keeping your hair fairly long, 1"+.  Try buzzing down, at least a #4.  Then work into it.  Believe me and the other brothers here, life continues and continues very well as a "sly" guy.  And look around you, there are more and more guys, guys your age too, who are going sly and getting ahead of mpb.  You can't safely change going bald, but you can get ahead of the issue and get on with living.  You can take that promise to the bank. 

Offline Spawn Of Evil

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Re: Going bald... and the insecurities that go with it
« Reply #4 on: September 08, 2011, 01:39:35 PM »
Not exactly a head shape issue but I have red marks all down the side of my head. When I get hot they tend to glow like they are radioacive. I've even changed my profile pic to show you. Guess what. Don't give damn. Very few people mention them. If they do I just say 'really, they werent there this morning!!'. The confidence I get from being SLY makes me far less image concious because I know I look far better bald than balding. Shave it, look in the mirror and if you like it you win, sod anyone else!
Bald not Balding, SLY till I die

Offline philp

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Re: Going bald... and the insecurities that go with it
« Reply #5 on: September 08, 2011, 03:06:44 PM »
Agree with saint, start at something like a 4 and work your way down. I started losing my hair when I was 19 and I was miserable for a long time. I can't tell you how great it feels though when you finally take the plunge and shave it off. Huge weight off your shoulders. Few people have the perfect headshape. Myself, I have more than a few moles on my scalp, not to mention I'm pale and skinny. But I feel good about myself and I'm confident and that is what makes the difference. Give it a go!

Offline Arnie

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Re: Going bald... and the insecurities that go with it
« Reply #6 on: September 08, 2011, 03:12:04 PM »
Just do it!!! O0

Chances are you will like it...99.9999999999999999999999999999999%

Welcome to SBGs!!! 8)

Offline Acme

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Re: Going bald... and the insecurities that go with it
« Reply #7 on: September 08, 2011, 06:19:53 PM »
I'm short (about 5' 3") and skinny (115 lbs on a good day).  Is that the right body structure for this look?  Yes.  Anybody can pull it off as long as the person is comfortable with their self.

As far as the dents in your head.... Who cares ???  It adds character!  The back part of my head has a flat spot and I have a nice 3" scar on the top toward the front.  I also have about 3 red spots in various places.  None of it bothers me.

Trust us, stop stressing about it because you have a long time to live with it.  Just do something that makes you feel good and move on.  If you shave it, you'll probably be used to it in about a week and love it.  It took me a good week to calm down and stop thinking about it so much.  I liked the look from the beginning and I love the way it feels not having hair and not having to worry about what it looks like.

Welcome to the group.  Hopefully we can help you become comfortable with the idea of shaving it.  The other options (medication, transplants, wigs) really aren't great options.

Offline Laser Man

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Re: Going bald... and the insecurities that go with it
« Reply #8 on: September 08, 2011, 06:23:35 PM »
Take Saintc's advise and buzz down to see how you like it.  Once you cut it short, go shorter in steps to see how it looks.  You'll probably reach a point where you'll want to see what you look like completely shaved.  If you don't like it, you can let your hair grow back.

A couple other things: 1) don't worry about the shape of your head, it will be fine, 2) it's impossible to imagine accurately what you'll look like bald so your friends' advice isn't really helpful in this matter, 3) if you decide to shave your head, you'll probably love the look and feel.

Offline Grizzly907

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Re: Going bald... and the insecurities that go with it
« Reply #9 on: September 08, 2011, 06:49:10 PM »
My hair is really dark when its short. I get bbs head shave and the follicles show through. I also have a scar where my sister smashed a tonka truck into my head when I was three years old. I shave it anyway. Do what feels comfortable for you. I don't suffer for MPB myself for which I am greatfull. However I would just shave my head if I did. It looks better than the comb over or having the hair on the sides imho. Plus I convey a no nonsense attitude when my head is shaved.

Offline rfn

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Re: Going bald... and the insecurities that go with it
« Reply #10 on: September 09, 2011, 02:39:00 AM »
Gentlemen, thank you for your responses and your support.

It looks like very few people have perfect heads, and that the rest of us all struggle with insecurities at some stage.  I've decided to try and get away from work early and pay a visit to the barber...  I don't think I'll let him take everything off, but I'd like to see what it looks like a bit shorter.  Perhaps I'm just overreacting over the shape of my skull.

Cheers,
rfn

Offline Chavster

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Re: Going bald... and the insecurities that go with it
« Reply #11 on: September 09, 2011, 03:45:27 AM »
my sister smashed a tonka truck into my head

Ouch

It looks like very few people have perfect heads, and that the rest of us all struggle with insecurities at some stage

Nobody has a perfect anything, because perfection lies in other people's minds, and for something to be perfect, 100% of the people on the planet would have to love the same thing, and thats never going to happen.

There's a saying here, and probably everywhere - "sell the sizzle, not the sausage". Ie, the sausage itself isnt so important, but how you market it and show it off to the world is :D


Offline mrzed

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Re: Going bald... and the insecurities that go with it
« Reply #12 on: September 09, 2011, 04:26:43 AM »
Take Saintc's advise and buzz down to see how you like it.  Once you cut it short, go shorter in steps to see how it looks.  You'll probably reach a point where you'll want to see what you look like completely shaved.  If you don't like it, you can let your hair grow back.

I don't have MPB, but a few years ago a buddy at work challenged me to go short with my hair. Had the barber do it. It was probably a #4 on top.  After a few $$ of paying him every few weeks I got clippers and did it myself. Every few months I changed a notch, #3, #2 ... then for summer tried a  #1. Wow, I liked it.  On a whim I took off the guard and just buzzed it down.  Even nicer.  Wife is still getting used to the nearly bald. She said she can see my brains! 

I think the buzzed, no guard, looks really sharp!  One of these days I'm going to shave it down. My wife's fear is that I'm going to like it and keep it shaved. From what I hear here on SBG, I will like it and will keep it shaved! 

Go of it buddy. 



Offline D.A.L.U.I.

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Re: Going bald... and the insecurities that go with it
« Reply #13 on: September 09, 2011, 08:17:52 AM »
I'd like to see what it looks like a bit shorter. 
I would bet you're going to like not only the look but the feel.  It could well be that you'll return to the barber in a short time for a shorter cut--it has happened before ;).
Perhaps I'm just overreacting over the shape of my skull.

Yup, but there are a lot of guys who have done the same thing so it's not a big bump in the road for you. 

Offline rfn

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Re: Going bald... and the insecurities that go with it
« Reply #14 on: September 11, 2011, 12:35:02 AM »
I went to the barbershop and got a much shorter cut.  The back of my head isn't quite as bad as I thought, so I might go a little bit shorter next time (although I can't see myself going completely sly any time soon).  It's definitely easier to maintain and it looks much better than it did before.