Author Topic: Dealing with negative reactions  (Read 3975 times)

Offline nor_cal

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Dealing with negative reactions
« on: March 07, 2017, 12:54:58 PM »
From your spouse and others, especially when they say "you look better with hair."  Do you all just power through this and ignore it?  How do you get past this?



Offline slybeard

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Re: Dealing with negative reactions
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2017, 01:08:58 PM »
It takes time for wives to adjust to a shaved bald husband.  Could take up to 6 months.  How long have you been shaving?  You can just respond that shaving is what you want to do, and ask for her to give you some time.
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Offline nor_cal

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Re: Dealing with negative reactions
« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2017, 01:24:47 PM »
It's been a couple years.  Shaved it on a whim, she said it wasn't her favorite and it reminded her of someone with cancer.  I grew it back quickly (have gotten some short buzzes since).  Am itching to go sly again though...

Offline Themightyjuice

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Re: Dealing with negative reactions
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2017, 02:24:25 PM »
When I first shaved my hair off it was a really short buzz. My wife wasn't a fan so I grew it back. A while later inept a short buzz for a bit and then got shorter and shorter (no guard with Wahl balding clippers) Inthink having the buzz a while let my wife get used to it. But when I first went sly she hated it, the way it looked and felt.

Again I grew the hair back but I was really starting to notice in the mirror and in photos the degree of thinning I had. I can still rock the hair look but every time I look in the mirror I can see it, the thinning. Everyone else said it wasn't bad but to me it was noticable and that's all that mattered. Off came the hair to a very short buzz then came the time to go sly. I spoke to my wife and told her why I was doing it. She told me she preferred me with hair but she still thought the balding clipper cut looked good. I'm a big enough guy I suppose that I can pull it off. Some folk have said I look intimidating but those who know me know that's not the case. Ive been told by many people that the look suits me so I guess that makes it easier. I've come to love it myself and my wife supports me in my reasons for doing it. I think she actually likes it now but only when I'm bearded haha.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is, do it for you. No one else. If this is what you want to do then do it. You're your own man. If your last knows what it means to you then she must support you and not keep being negative. You shouldn't have to just 'power through' This is who you want to be. Own it.

Offline TheodorusRex

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Re: Dealing with negative reactions
« Reply #4 on: March 08, 2017, 06:10:27 AM »
Power thru and tell her you're practicing 'radical self acceptance' and she should try it sometime... the own it.  walk around like you're the sh*t - and it will make people believe it.
Started shaving November 25th, 2016

Offline slybeard

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Re: Dealing with negative reactions
« Reply #5 on: March 08, 2017, 06:29:24 AM »
It's been a couple years.  Shaved it on a whim, she said it wasn't her favorite and it reminded her of someone with cancer.  I grew it back quickly (have gotten some short buzzes since).  Am itching to go sly again though...

So by growing back after her comment, she has established (in her mind) that she can control your hair style choice.  IME, ladies do not like to see change in their man that they do not initiate themselves.  They see it as a security issue and immediately start to feel insecure in the relationship.  They may not even be aware of it, they just experience the insecurity feeling.  That is why you need to stick with head shaving (or any change) for a period of time for her to adjust.  After the adjustment, changing back would bring up the same issues again.

BTW - this is not a negative comment on your wife, it is just how ladies are wired.

Another option to consider.  You said you have done buzzes before.  Start with a buzz and stick with it for a while (don't let it grow out).  Then step it a bit closer once you think your wife has adjusted to the buzz.  Keep doing this until you get to a no guard buzz.  Once you maintain a no guard buzz, it is a small step that goes unnoticed by most when you transition to shaving.
« Last Edit: March 08, 2017, 06:36:19 AM by slybeard »
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Offline Laser Man

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Re: Dealing with negative reactions
« Reply #6 on: March 08, 2017, 06:42:45 AM »
It can take time for people to adjust to a drastic change in your appearance.  While we all want to maintain some degree of harmony with our wives, it really should be your choice, not your wife's.  Does she consult you whenever she decides to change her hairstyle?  A shaved head might not be her favorite style, but she might adjust to it as time goes on.  And if it makes you happy, that should be good enough for her.

 



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