Sly Bald Guys Forum
Confidence and Success => Relationships/Dating => Topic started by: aleutiancowboy on May 20, 2009, 11:04:48 AM
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When discussing dating relations, confidence is the ultimate aphrodisiac or relationship-builder because of the way it so smoothly puts others at ease, often without them even knowing it. When people perceive confidence in another person, it is rarely because the person projecting confidence is deliberately drawing attention to himself by, for example, talking about himself in some fashion. Gloating is usually perceived as arrogance, not confidence. Rather, a confident person feels no need to assert himself or his qualities unnecessarily; he projects confidence by directing his focus and attention outward.
The first step in gaining confidence is sprucing up your appearance. Go beyond simply being presentable. Take the necessary steps to make yourself feel like you look completely tip-top for the occasion -- and leave no room for feeling self-conscious about something, such as hair loss, that could throw you off.
Situations that demand you to project confidence are never the best times to take chances with how you look. This is an instance in which the odds are not justified by the potential payoff. Confidence does not overtly draw attention to itself, but this is precisely what would happen if you gamble on your appearance. What happens if a women asks, “Is that a new shirt?” or “Where did you get those shoes?” You answer them and expect a follow-up compliment on their part, but you don’t get it. Suddenly you’re left questioning your outfit, and it is precisely this kind of self-conscious questioning that saps you of your confidence. Bottom line craft your appearance so that, once you leave home, you never think about it again and are able to fully project confidence – DON’T RUN FOR COVER.
If you're contemplating artificial means of hiding, enhancing or covering your hair loss, you may want to think twice about it. You'll pay in more ways than one. Hair plugs, where hair is harvested from the side and back of your head and transplanted to the top, are expensive, painful and can permanently scar. Toupees and hairpieces aren't cheap either, and they're high maintenance. Plus, do you really want a girl running her hands through your "hair," only to discover it isn't your hair? Talk about a mood killer.
Don't be like celebrities who cover up their hair loss; William Shatner acts like he has hair, with his toupee right there on his head. Elton John sings about world peace, but the only piece we notice is the one on his head. Look around and you'll see aging hippies, bald on top with a ponytail in the back; middle-aged businessmen with combovers flying high in the wind; and assorted guys with rows of freshly planted hair, looking conspicuous on an otherwise bald head. These solutions make you look ridiculous, especially for younger men. Just try and imagine Laurence Fishburne with a hairpiece or Woody Harrelson with a combover. So if you're still fighting Mother Nature, it's time to toss that toupee, crop that combover and chop that ponytail.
You can't save it so shave it. Be like Mike. It's time to play ball, so just do it. Prepare yourself for the looks of amazement you'll get from your girlfriend, family and friends. But you'll be surprised by how many people genuinely compliment your new do. Start with electric shears like the barber uses. Once you've sheared the heavy stuff, it's time to close the deal. Lather up with shaving gel, which offers a closer, smoother shave than shaving cream. Use whichever razor brand you regularly buy for the best shaving results. Start at the top and shave down with the grain.
Watch what you're doing in the back with a small hand mirror or use your free hand and go buy feel. Shaving your dome only takes a few minutes and will leave you with a satisfied feeling.
From here on in, treat your head like your face. Wash regularly with moisturizing soap (with aloe), instead of a harsh deodorant soap that can dry out the skin on your head. You'll want to buy a quality color-free and fragrance-free moisturizer to apply after every wash. For the summer, find a moisturizer with an SPF of at least 15 to avoid sunburn on your head. And you'll need a warm hat in cold weather to maintain your body heat.
Bald is beautiful; in the beginning, you might feel naked. It'll take some time to get used to that new guy looking at you in the mirror. Your buddies will toss some "cue ball" jokes your way at first. But this will only last a few days, until you get a little color on your head.
Sporting a shaved head can actually make you look younger. It's a hip style these days. Many men in their 20s, blessed with full heads of hair, shave just for the look. And it can help you in business. A clean-cut head helps present a sharp, orderly and professional image. That's why it works so well in the military. Conversely, if you're the creative type, a bald head lends you immediate artistic, hipster credibility. Additionally, you'll get a little more respect on the street. Look at what it did for Vin Diesel. Tough guy comes to mind.
Women won't know whether you're really bald, or doing it for the cool look. Many will dig it and ask to feel your head. Check out Taye Diggs. Chick magnet is an apt description. You're in good company now. So wear your new style with confidence and a smile, like Bruce Willis.
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That was awesome, I am going to have to save this.
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Excellent post, cowboy. This should be required reading for all new guys, especially fence sitters. O0
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Excellent post - thanks for putting in your time on that
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great read! i give it O0 O0
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Definitely a must read
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This was worth quite a brilliant read, some important factors were mentioned. I feel that learning to be comfortable with myself makes me more confident around others.
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Top shelf - great post. Thanks Cowboy. You nailed it.
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Brilliant...
You know what? It is all true!
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Right on the head - - -Excellent
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excellent read, others who have confidence issues would benifit Im sure
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Literate, well-organized, and cogently expressed. Well worth the writing (and the reading).
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Excellent job cowboy!
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Awesome ... Wish I had read this or knew about this site when I was on the fence and wasn't sure of what to do, but yeah your right appearance is important and to my surprise a lot of women like the bald me better crazy !!! But to all you guys out there who are on the fence, well JUST DO IT !!! I was 24 when I cut it all off and well One of the Best decisions I ever made !!! The upkeep is the only thing that SUCKS !!!
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Definetly the truth, great post! O0 Before I started looking at this site I was thinking about doing all the traditional means Rogaine, pills, HT. An although I never shelled out any cash for any of those I'm glad I found this site before I actually did. First off the rogaine and pills you have to keep using for the rest of your life and if you don't your hair falls out. Not to mention the fact that the pills have severe sexual side effects. Apparntly it only happens in 2% of the people, but if you go on other forums it almost sounds like 95% of the people have em. Really whats more important to a girl, a head of hair or you in bed?
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Amen! Great post.
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Freakin' A !!
And it's not that hair transplants can scar you, they will scar you! I'm all scarred up in back. I'll look great come this Halloween. lol
Now it's going to cost me a few thousand additional dollars to try and get them reduced or minimized, but I"ll probably always have them to a degree. Lovely. They mar an otherwise nice head.
I try not to beat myself up over them too badly though, when I had them done 20 years ago, sly was not in, it was freaky. But today, that's all changed, thank god. About time too.
I don't think the sly look is a fad either, it's just a common sense approach to a huge problem that's not going to go away. I hope 200 years from now, guys are still doing it en masse. It's far and away THE answer to MPB. And I know a lot of women who love the look. I've had a lot of compliments, I don't think they were gratuitous either.. they didn't have to say anything positive, really, but they did.
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I've watched infomercials and researched hair transplants online. I would have probably had it done if I had the money to do so. I'm so greatful I didn't have the money, because I did further reseach. Sometimes the hair on the top can get thin and fall out, just like MPB. I often imagined what I would have done 20-30 years ago if I were an adult then. Not many people shaved their heads back then and I guess a stigma came along with it if someone did. Overall it just wasn't very popular then.
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Great post. Thanks!
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great post!
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Well stated Cowboy. You summed it all up very well.
Awesome post. Thanks for sharing it with us.
:D
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Legend---
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---wait for it---
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---DARY!
Good on ya Cowboy.
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Wise words.
Self-confidence is paramount.
Look after yourself and your dome (the more the better) to help build that confidence and be confident about your look.
I believe people will only make a point about your hair if you do (personally)...
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To echo everyone else... great post!
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excellent post, after just turining 21 and having a head of hair that makes me look 40, post is a great confidence builder cheers from Ireland.
O0
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Aleutian Cowboy,
Your posting was awesome. You said it all. Sorry to be so late in responding. Everyone should read this.
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excellent read cowboy really enjoyed it
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I hadn't read this post before today, but now that I've read it I can only agree that it is completely true. Hiding behind a facade of high hair, perms, hats or caps only increased my anxiety which over the long term certainly was not good for me. The initial shave meant that I had finally acknowledged the truth and decided to stop stressing out about it. One immediate and surprising effect on me was that I have suddenly become open to the camera where before I shied away from pictures. It is like before I knew I wasn't being truthful and now, I am.
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Hey!
Thank you for the article. I think this was the one that convinced me to cut down and shave my hear. It's still hard to tell which way I am going but so far I feel better with sly look. :)
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Well said!
This is excellent for those who sit on the fence to read.
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thanks for that post! it's so well written I have a copy printed and pinned up on my board :)
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That article could be the summary of a fine book I've read.
The only thing is that if you don't have a dark skin women can tell if you're bald by choice or by no-choice.
Sometimes for them this makes the difference, but I think you don't want to date a Woman who thinks you are sexy only if you are bald by choice (and you can see how perverted that point of view is)
So shave your head and see what happens, balding men!
For non balding people like me slyness can be considered an haircut like many others.
An haircut you can change if you change your mind.
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Nice post!!