Author Topic: Spouse not on board with the idea  (Read 14691 times)

Offline schro

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Spouse not on board with the idea
« on: December 11, 2006, 04:21:14 PM »
Thought I'd share my latest chat with the wife about my idea of shaving the dome.

As some of you know, I am holding off shaving it until after the holidays (after family has left). This was mainly out of respect for the wife, for concern of her reaction. Well last night, my suspicions on her reaction were dead on. She asked how my scalp was feeling. I suffer from Seborrheic dermatitis (apparently hereditary) that becomes excrutiating during the cold months. Despite the fact it's hereditary, both my brothers are hanging tough with their hairlines and I'm the only one that is destined to look like Pops. Anyway, rather than surprise her, I told her that I plan on shaving the dome after the New Year. She HATES the idea!

She is convinced that shaving the head is A) not going to solve the dermatitis issue and B) is going to look bad on me. She said she has to respect my thoughts, but also wants voice her opinion. To me, it's kind of an unknown on both counts. Although I have no idea if shaving my head is going to do much for the health of my scalp (Noner indicated it's a myth that shaving will alleviate the condition). However, since oil from hair follicles is a contributing factor, it may make a difference. As far as the look goes, we'll just to wait and see. As I'm pretty close to bald on top anyway, it not much of a difference anyway. I'll update my profile picture so you can see what I mean. Who knows, maybe she had the hots for Gavin McCleod in her teenage years.

Just curious if any of you Sly Guys had this kind of reaction from your wife prior to doing it. Even though she's not at all happy about it, I still plan on going through with it after the holiday. It's just something I want to do for me.

Look forward to hearing what you all have to say.




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Offline schro

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Re: Spouse not on board with the idea
« Reply #1 on: December 11, 2006, 04:31:30 PM »
Not sure if the new profile pic got on there. Personally, I think I'm a damn sexy guy. In fact, I sleep with myself every night cause I'm so sexy.


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Offline PBurke

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Re: Spouse not on board with the idea
« Reply #2 on: December 11, 2006, 04:38:17 PM »
my wife was not real keen on the idea for awhile. but she came around. i feel like it is good that you told her your plan instead of popping it on her. maybe she will like it after you shave. if she really can't stand it and you choose to grow it back, it won't taka that long to get where you are now. personally i think it will look fine. my hairline was headed that way too. my dad has your hairline, has for quite a long while. i just thought bald was a better look for me and now the wife agrees. good luck. let us know if we can help.


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Offline schro

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Re: Spouse not on board with the idea
« Reply #3 on: December 11, 2006, 04:43:03 PM »
Thanks Paul... much better photo by the way.


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Offline Robmeister

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Re: Spouse not on board with the idea
« Reply #4 on: December 11, 2006, 04:49:24 PM »
Schro, my wife wasn't crazy about the idea either.  She was hoping I would just get through whatever phase I was in and forget about it.  Now she hears about my communicating on a regular basis with the Sly Guys and she knows I'm serious.

The way we got around it was for us to make a deal that if I put forth the effort to lose 15 lbs, she can't protest any more and we give it 3 weeks after the initial shave to see if it suits me.

I've grown a goatee (which she thinks looks best with a chromer) and I've buzzed my hair shorter and shorter over the last couple of months.  (I still have not shaved---have 14 more lbs to lose).

One of the things that brought her back to earth when she was protesting was that it will grow back to where it is now in a matter of weeks.

Offline ar3inc

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Re: Spouse not on board with the idea
« Reply #5 on: December 11, 2006, 04:55:46 PM »
Wish I could provide some insight on this one but I meant my wife with a shaved head.  She convinced me to grow it out and try some styling with it.  After that we both promptly agree a shaved head is best for me.  I guess the best thing is show her you serious about it and she will hopefully respect your desire to shave your noggin.
"Every man dies, not every man really lives."  Braveheart, 1995

Offline schro

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Re: Spouse not on board with the idea
« Reply #6 on: December 11, 2006, 05:05:25 PM »
Appreciate the input. I've been toying with the idea for quite a while but never stepped up to the plate. I mentioned this on another thread, but for Halloween, we hosted a couple's costume party. We went as Sonny & Cher. Another couple came as "Deal or No Deal". Towards the end of the night when everyone was pretty liquored up, the husband who played Howie (yes, his wife is hot enough to be a case gal) and I decided to change wigs. He put on the Sonny wig and I put on the Howie skin wig. When I did that, some said "Hey Schro, you look like.....Schro!". Very funny line, but that was the beginning of my seriously reconsidering shaving it off. That's when I found this website. To me, there's really not that much of a difference from bald and what I've got after my wife cuts my hair with a #2 setting.

You guys have been great with the posts and topics. Thanks for being here.


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Offline PBurke

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Re: Spouse not on board with the idea
« Reply #7 on: December 11, 2006, 05:08:50 PM »
any time schro. thanks for the compliment on the pic. the wife said it looks better too.


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BaldRob

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Re: Spouse not on board with the idea
« Reply #8 on: December 11, 2006, 05:18:49 PM »
I haven't hit this dilemma yet... of course, I have no one to answer to and most everyone I know has only known me as bald or balding.

Maybe you two could come to some sort of compromise:

When you first do it, take it all the way down with clippers (no attachment blade) and shave it like that for a couple weeks... then if she's warming up to it, then grab the ol' headblade and chrome out!

If you could share, what is Seborrheic dermatitis?

Offline schro

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Re: Spouse not on board with the idea
« Reply #9 on: December 11, 2006, 05:45:47 PM »
Appreciate the idea Robby Buffett, but my wife used to cut my hair with a #3 setting, now it's down to a #2. At first she was not hip to the idea of using #2, but has gotten used to it. Frankly, if I go any shorter, I might as well shave it all off. What's the difference between an eighth of an inch of and no hair at all? 
Seborrheic dermatitis is a common skin condition affecting millions of Americans. It shows up as flaking skin, or reddish patches. Unlike people with dry skin, the skin in people with seborrheic dermatitis is usually oily. It can be unsightly, itchy and, since it is often on the face, may cause embarrassment. It is not contagious. Scales form on reddened skin.

In adults seborrheic dermatitis usually affects the scalp, eyebrows, ear canals, sides of the nose, and behind the ears. It sometimes affects the armpits, chest and in the groin area. Most people with it complain of dandruff, especially on the back and sides of the scalp (bad dandruff bad dandruff is usually seborrheic dermatitis).

Seborrheic dermatitis may start in infancy as cradle cap. It affects the scalp as thick, crusty, yellow scales. Children usually outgrow it by age 3 and do not normally get seborrheic dermatitis. Cradle cap is not contagious, it is not caused by poor hygiene, it is not an allergy, and it is not dangerous. Cradle cap usually does not itch, but it may. If excessive scratching occurs, it can cause additional inflammation, mild infections or bleeding.

The problem in seborrheic dermatitis is in the oil (sebaceous) glands and hair follicles. People with seborrheic dermatitis produce too much sebum (the natural skin oil). Later, pityrosporum yeast grows excessively in the sebum, sometime along with bacteria, making the dermatitis more persistent.

Bottom line, it sucks. Besides becoming "sly", I am hopeful that shaving the dome will help relieve some of the irritation.

Later.


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BaldRob

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Re: Spouse not on board with the idea
« Reply #10 on: December 11, 2006, 05:47:58 PM »
Robby Buffett?  If only Jimmy was my dad...  ;D

Thanks for the info!

Offline PBurke

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Re: Spouse not on board with the idea
« Reply #11 on: December 11, 2006, 06:41:15 PM »
hey schro. i have had big flakes in the past. not sure if it that but have not had it since i shaved the noggin. it is worth a shot. heck, if it works then you have ammunition for keeping it smooth.


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Offline Professor Melon

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Re: Spouse not on board with the idea
« Reply #12 on: December 11, 2006, 07:25:15 PM »
 :) :) Dear Schro: you're nearly there. A clean sweep would probably put an end to both your scalp and image problems. If you can convey to your wife how much better you feel about being honest, totally bald, and medication-free, you can turn a positive corner. Fortunately, my wife of 35 years perfectly understood my need of a new and bold persona. Embrace the future. Professor Melon
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Offline Razor X

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Re: Spouse not on board with the idea
« Reply #13 on: December 11, 2006, 09:20:20 PM »
The problem in seborrheic dermatitis is in the oil (sebaceous) glands and hair follicles. People with seborrheic dermatitis produce too much sebum (the natural skin oil). Later, pityrosporum yeast grows excessively in the sebum, sometime along with bacteria, making the dermatitis more persistent.

Bottom line, it sucks. Besides becoming "sly", I am hopeful that shaving the dome will help relieve some of the irritation.


For what it is worth, I've had some skin problems on my scalp -- nothing as severe as what you described, but I always seemed to be itchy and no shampoo I tried ever seemed to solve the problem.  Once I shaved all the hair off, the problem went away.  Obviously, everyone is different and shaving may not help your problem but it probably won't hurt, either.  In fact, shaving might be a good thing because it will be easier to apply topical treatments once the hair is all gone.

Occasionally, I get a few pimples on my scalp.  When it happens, I've tried not shaving for a few days to give my skin a chance to rest.  It has never helped, and if anything, the stubble has tended to make the problem worse. 

Offline schro

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Re: Spouse not on board with the idea
« Reply #14 on: December 11, 2006, 10:55:51 PM »
RazorX...that is exactly what I was hoping to hear! I was applying Loprox (topical ointment, not a hair resotration product) to alleviate some of the discomfort, and it worked in a limited fashion. Still, I have a feeling that I'll experience the same thing you did....lose what will soon be lost anyway, and the problem will cease.

Prof Mel, thanks for the kind words, but I am not suffering from any type of image problem or personal dilema. I am quite comfortable in my own skin: I'm just looking forward to showing more of it! As I've read some of your posts, it took quite a while for you to make this decision. I have never tried any type of topical remedies, surgeries, or old wives' tales to fight off the inevitable. Lord strike me down for saying this, but I'm looking forward to the holidays (or as Glen Beck would call it "RamaHanuKwanzmas") being over so I can shave it all off. It's all good.



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