Author Topic: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.  (Read 24940 times)

Offline Aquabat6

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #15 on: December 03, 2016, 02:24:10 PM »
Yeah man, it's a trade off.  It's hard to accept such a sudden change to your appearance.  To each his own as far as styling, but I will say for me, I think that the shaven look is much better than horseshoe baldness.  This is especially true for younger guys.  My face always seemed weird with hair all over the sides and nothing on top.  I was twenty-one when I had to shave it off.  I remember I hated it at first.  This is all normal, though.  Eventually, you will grow into it. 

As far as maintenance, yeah, it's super easy.  Some people say you need a Kardashian supply of skin products.  Here is what I do: Shaving cream and some disposable razors.  Don't worry about moisturizing unless it starts to burn or flake.  Let the natural oils do their work.

Offline Tchelo

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #16 on: December 03, 2016, 03:16:20 PM »
Hi im portuguese but had live in Brasil. So, sorry for people speak english, just a few words in portuguese for my fellow bald.

Amigo, comecei a perder cabelo no topo desde os 20 anos, sendo mais visível no inicio dos meus 30 anos.

Por ser algo que inevetalmente iria acontecer me venho a preparar a tanto tempo que acabou por ser algo que não  me abalou emocionalmente ao me ver com a cabeca raspar.

De forma a me preparar e as pessoas que convivo e eu próprio  fui cortando o cabelo cada vez mais curto até chegar ao ponto de raspar o meu cabelo todos os dias desde a semana passada.

Outra coisa, no fim as pessoas vêem sempre a tua personalidade, quem és e acabam por se acostumar com a sua aparência.

Quem vem com comentários maus, tipo algum familiar ou conhecido sem noção e que não se olha no espelho, ignore, eu mesmo digo, "se estou bem comigo assim você não tem nada a ver com isso".

Sobre o raspar o cabelo acaba por não ser dispendioso e a forma de fazer depende da forma que você se sinta confortável.

Abraços.
« Last Edit: December 03, 2016, 03:18:14 PM by Tchelo »



Offline Lew

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #17 on: December 04, 2016, 05:23:15 PM »
Accepting hair loss is a hard pill to swallow.  I started balding 32 years ago and didn't start shaving my head until this past May.  I was very nervous about venturing out in public without hair at first (I went to Hair Club for 15 years) and wore a beanie for about a week before I exposed my sly head to the world.  I felt empowered but still apprehensive about my new look.  Each week got easier and after two months I didn't give my bald head a second thought.  Now seven months later I can't imagine having hair and have completely accepted my new look.

Your coming to terms with your baldness like many other aspects in life is a process.  If you maintain a positive outlook you will come to accept your baldness in time.  It will have to be on your own terms and at the end of the day only you can feel good about you.  I think it's terrible that people are saying negative things about your new look.  You just have to let them know you don't appreciate their negativity.  I'm still blown away how some people feel they have a license to say whatever comes to their minds.  I had a female colleague say something negative about my bald head and I said, "Thank you so much for your unsolicited comment.  Now I've got one for you.  You're overweight and need to lose about thirty pounds.  You might want to think about hitting the gym."  She looked at me as if I had slapped her in the face but as a result has gone out of her way to be nice to me since that incident.

Hold your head up high.  You've got this.

Offline Magoo

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #18 on: December 05, 2016, 01:29:33 PM »
Lew , you are right and some people have to be told off. How you do it  is an individual choice. But let them know they do not have the right to insult.
If only all men lived by the "Golden Rule ."

Offline TheCurseofDolkite

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #19 on: December 15, 2016, 02:25:30 PM »
I don't see how it's a trade, and I think anyone who thinks that "Hey, think of all the money you'll save on shampoo!" is either funny or helpful deserves to get hit without prosecution. One punch - your choice of a jab to the face or an uppercut to the stomach, and they cannot prosecute or sue you.

I'm shocked that I still see clickbait articles on Why Being Bald Is Great. Typically, it's:

1) A few millionaire movie stars are bald! (and a) women aren't into them anyway, and b) they come off as badass thanks to the help of stuntmen and special FX artists)

2) You'll save lots of money on shampoo and conditioner! (great, that used to be a major item on my budget)

3) No more spending all day in the bathroom primping! (thank God...when I had hair I'd spend no less than an hour combing it every day)

4) You know the girl is with you because of YOU, not your hair (nine times out of ten, that means she can't get anyone better or just has some weird thing for bald men)

5) Bald men are seen as more manly (and less attractive)


Offline Magoo

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #20 on: December 15, 2016, 06:04:58 PM »
Keep hearing Troll ?  If I'm wrong I apologize , but you really have some negative thoughts.
« Last Edit: December 15, 2016, 06:11:26 PM by Magoo »
If only all men lived by the "Golden Rule ."

Offline reddog

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #21 on: December 15, 2016, 06:57:19 PM »
Yep, it might be kind of difficult to post negativity to a bunch of bald loving headshavers. People have different tastes and shaved heads aren't for everybody, but look around. More and more guys are choosing to shave their heads everyday, and it's for alot of reasons, but they keep shaving bald because they like it.
Bald by choice, and loving it!

Offline ThePangolin

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #22 on: December 15, 2016, 07:02:25 PM »
+1 to hearing troll

Choice is the beauty of life. Make yours.



Offline Laser Man

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #23 on: December 16, 2016, 09:51:50 AM »
Yep - troll!

Offline Semi-Sly

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #24 on: December 17, 2016, 10:58:27 AM »
Welcome to the group!

One of the things about this forum is we try to help newly sly guys deal with things such as nasty comments, anxiety, etc. It is indeed a journey that takes longer for some than others, but hang in there, in due time it won't be an issue for you nor outsiders.

You are right about it being a "journey". 

I have shaved my head for a portion of each year for many years.  Most years I get nothing but negative feedback from friends, family, coworkers, barbers, etc.  And, I have always admitted that I look better with hair than without - it is just that I FEEL better clean shaven than with hair.

When I grew out my flattop out last Summer it had noticeably thinned and greyed so it did not look very youthful anymore!   Then in September I shaved my head again as I often do for the Winter.  It has been about 3 months now. 

This time I think that I really look good with the shaved head.  I don't know why.  Admittedly, I did lose about 48 Lbs this year.  That really makes me feel better about myself.  I have started wearing more tailored shirts and slacks.  I have started wearing more black clothing.
 
For reasons that I cannot explain, I am getting a LOT of positive feedback on the shaved head this year!?!  My Mother is not complaining as loudly.  People at church have given me unsolicited compliments.  My psychologist has remarked on it and told me that it is a "keeper".  Even some of my barber colleagues have told me that I should keep it!!!!!!!  - and that is almost unbelievable coming from professional barbers!!!

  I wonder if it is possible that my own more positive feeling about my looks in general are vibing out to others and becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy?

So let us know if you have this kind of experience in your own journey.

This time

Offline TheCurseofDolkite

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #25 on: January 06, 2017, 06:36:46 PM »
Not everyone is happy with how they look being bald, nor how others see them. I never told anyone else to stop feeling the way they want to...why are people asking me not to talk about how I feel as a bald guy?

Usually, people try to convince me it's not so bad because other men are shaving their heads, even if they have hair. I don't care what other men think about going bald. I only care what women think.

Offline ThePangolin

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #26 on: January 06, 2017, 07:47:24 PM »
Not everyone is happy with how they look being bald, nor how others see them. I never told anyone else to stop feeling the way they want to...why are people asking me not to talk about how I feel as a bald guy?

No one told you to stop feeling. No one that posted has said that they wanted to feel like a miserable sulking bald freak either. Thats why we are here to try and help change the perspective of guys who are in a difficult time and need affirmation and reassurance that its a great choice theyve made and to be happy with it. Is it our fault if youre not listening or willing to come out of your self induced pity pit?


Usually, people try to convince me it's not so bad because other men are shaving their heads, even if they have hair. I don't care what other men think about going bald. I only care what women think.

And that seems to be your biggest problem right now. IT DOESNT MATTER what women think. Youre psychopathic-ally obsessed with how women see you with your bald head. What the heck man, youre not listening to the good advice everyone is giving you. We arent just brainwashed bald headed monks that nobody understands who are trying to change every man into yet another shaved freak.

For those who dont choose bald, do you see us judging them or trying to force them to shave? Heck no you dont. We are here to support eachother with wherever we are at. And that support means not leaving someone to think in error and wallow in a self pity party.

We are trying to help, why wont you let us?



Offline Feenix

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #27 on: April 05, 2017, 11:27:18 AM »
Ohhh, boy.

I struggled with this one for a long time and I sometimes still do.  I used to have shoulder length red hair and I absolutely loved it.  Something that I find makes sense is in a book called The Hagakure, which is a book of samurai philosophy.

Without getting metaphysical, one of the many things it talks about is the "Spirit of an age".  We do what we can to take the best from the good and bad moments we pass through in our life.  Sometimes we want to go back to the spirit of an earlier age, but we cant - we already took the best we can from it.  While I miss my hair, it does not diminish the time when I had it.  I shave my head because at this moment in time, it is the best thing.

Now.  This is life, this isnt a philosophy class.  But you have to decide what you want to take from life at the moment.  You can struggle, using products and whatever else you think you need, to recapture something that you are losing.  Or, you can embrace it.  There are control issues etc etc, but at the end of the day what do YOU want to do?  If you dont want to shave your head, dont - use rogaine etc, keep it going until you feel you can shave it comfortably, should that day come.  Or, you can say "Ok, it looks like Im going to go bald.  Lets cut to the chase here and just do it on my own terms".  You cant choose whether you are going to go bald, no one can.  What you can do, is decide whether you want to recapture the spirit of a past age, or whether you want to take the best you can from this one.  If the best of this one is using rogaine, use it - but in the long run you will go bald.  If the best of this age is shaving your head, do that.  Either way, it is a choice only you can make at the end of the day, and there isnt a right one or a wrong one - it is simply what you decide to do.

Offline JBbergman

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #28 on: June 08, 2017, 01:20:21 AM »
You got to get back on finasteride, nizoral 2% and minox man. With a hair transplant even if you're full on getting close to nothing on top you can get back the vast majority. Save what you have, you obviously don't want to live your life as a bald guy.

Offline TheodorusRex

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Re: It doesn't seem like a solution. It seems like a trade.
« Reply #29 on: June 08, 2017, 06:02:13 AM »
You're a whiner, not a man.  When you own your look with confidence, the women will respond.   I've had zero trouble.   Zero.   I purposely don't wear hats at a bar - because I want them to see my confidence.  I'm not hiding it - I wear it proudly.  Yes, Baldness chooses us - but it's a matter of surrendering to what you can't control and then radical self acceptance.   I've found, when you accept yourself fully, other people do to, naturally. 
Started shaving November 25th, 2016

 



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