Sly Bald Guys Forum

Discussions About Being Bald => To be or not be...Bald => Topic started by: hotrn on February 03, 2012, 09:05:00 PM

Title: Will she say YES?
Post by: hotrn on February 03, 2012, 09:05:00 PM
I have wanted to shave my head for the longest time and my job as a hospice nurse has been my hang-up. Well now I am getting married on March 17th, St. Patty's Day and I don't want to look sick, stupid, or just plain out ruine my own wedding because I took the clippers to my head! What's ya'lls opinion? Ya'll shave every day and know more about who is able to carry a bald head and who can't than I do. The avatar is me. PELEASE BE HONEST and don't worry about hurting my feelings!
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: Razor X on February 03, 2012, 10:38:42 PM
I don't understand the subject line -- will who say yes to what? ???
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: hotrn on February 03, 2012, 11:05:31 PM
It is a sort of pun for lack of a better word. I'm getting married, so if I go sly and she doesn't like it will she still say "yes" on the wedding day?!?!
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: Paul the Headblader on February 03, 2012, 11:10:22 PM
well, since she's ur girlfriend, ask her about it, talk, discuss, that's what couples are for.
if she likes it, do it, if she does not, try to convince her :P
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: hotrn on February 03, 2012, 11:13:00 PM
She says that she really doesn't want me to do it but for me to do what makes mehappy. The big question is can I pull it off??
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: chgobuzzbald on February 04, 2012, 12:35:29 AM
why not have her do it just after the wedding ?
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: kalbo on February 04, 2012, 12:44:23 AM
If you really want to do it and you feel that you will be happy shaving your head then go for it, after all, you have your fiancee's support.
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: mrzed on February 04, 2012, 05:13:27 AM
I think that a bald head look really sharp.  Your current thinning hair makes you look older.  So it's time to shave it bald.

Now, don't wait until March 13th to shave it. Do it NOW.  Then you and fiance will have a chance to get used to it before the wedding.  I shaved two weeks ago for the first time. And getting into it solidly now.  The first week or two you may have second thoughts or wonder what people will think.  But shortly you'll know it looks good and really like it.

(And as a fall back .... shave now. If you really hate it, you'd have almost 6 weeks to grow it back.  You'll have a good buzz haircut in place by the wedding.  Buzz hair cuts look manly too.)

It'd say, run to the shower and shave it bald today.
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: isleepinthebuff on February 04, 2012, 07:04:40 AM
I think there is a point where you have to say "my hair is not looking great anymore. I am not bald but my hair is receeding at the front and back, I look at pics of myself with hair now and think "who was I kidding". But shaving it all off can take some getting used to! So with the wedding pics, you don't want to be in that "getting used to it stage". I would say have a good short haircut for the day and as part of the honeymoon shave it off, maybe do a 2 or 1 grade or even a zero first - then wetshave when used to it!
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: D.A.L.U.I. on February 04, 2012, 07:56:27 AM
Well, your picture seems to indicate you've got the genetics for mpb, but the progress isn't that far.  If you're not upset about the receding hairline, and she's happy wait awhile, it won't be that many anniversaries before you'll be bald anyway, whether or not you shave it down. 
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: BaldHDbiker on February 04, 2012, 07:56:43 AM
I think if you really want to do it you should, BUT since your GF is not as keen to the idea as you I would wait till after the weeding.

To answer your question I think you'd look fine with a sly dome.  8)
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: sailor61 on February 04, 2012, 11:15:56 AM
Bald one year as of today and I really LOVE it.  I think you will look good bald.  I think you will like being bald.  I think she will like you bald.  HOWEVER in this culture its HER wedding not your's.  My very strong advice is don't mess with things prior to HER wedding.

 Go today (6 weeks out ) to a good stylist with HER and spend the money to have them come up with a new cut that you will be content with for the wedding. But for God's sake don;t do it without her input.   Yes, it's your head  and it is also you wedding day but it's not something (hopefully) you've nattered about endlessly wiht friends since childhood.  As much as I generally preach it's your head etc in this one case the fiancee is "SHE WHO MUST BE OBEYED" or your life could be a living hell.  Bridezillas don;t just happen - they are made and don't risk that.  

If you had 6 months I would say go for it. At the six week point you are just the groom- in some ways as much part of the decorations as her flowers.
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: tomgallagher on February 04, 2012, 11:33:24 AM
Bald one year as of today and I really LOVE it.  I think you will look good bald.  I think you will like being bald.  I think she will like you bald.  HOWEVER in this culture its HER wedding not your's.  My very strong advice is don't mess with things prior to HER wedding.

 Go today (6 weeks out ) to a good stylist with HER and spend the money to have them come up with a new cut that you will be content with for the wedding. But for God's sake don;t do it without her input.   Yes, it's your head  and it is also you wedding day but it's not something (hopefully) you've nattered about endlessly wiht friends since childhood.  As much as I generally preach it's your head etc in this one case the fiancee is "SHE MUST BE OBEYED" or your life could be a living hell.  Bridezillas don;t just happen - they are made and don't risk that. 

If you had 6 months I would say go for it. At the six week point you are just the groom- in some ways as much part of the decorations as her flowers.

I think Sailor pretty well sums it up. Good luck on the wedding.
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: Acme on February 04, 2012, 11:36:20 AM
I agree with Sailor.  If you had 6 months, go for it.  At 6 weeks, maybe not.  It kind of depends on you and your personality to try it so close to the wedding.  I think you're going to look and feel better and if you really want to do it, do it now so you can at least have a buzz cut by the wedding if you decide it's not the look you want for the wedding pictures.  You already look young but since you do have considerable receding creating the peninsula look on top, I think you will look even younger after shaving it off.
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: sailor61 on February 04, 2012, 11:54:21 AM
Six weeks before the wedding - shave at your own risk.  Just, please, lock up all knives, guns etc. And get her "ok" in writing...it'll come in handy in the court proceedings.
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: isleepinthebuff on February 04, 2012, 12:04:29 PM
for me I think shaved works. here is a pic of me on my holiday LAST year and a picture of me from July on this years holiday! I don't think hair is an option for me!

(https://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi27.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fc156%2Fgayboy71%2FImage1-5.jpg&hash=9e160bf746f927ac48d34b5445c049dd4377a0d1)
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: Acme on February 04, 2012, 12:25:27 PM
Funny.  Looks like 2 different people.  No hair does look better  8)
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: sailor61 on February 04, 2012, 12:34:47 PM
Buff - you look great bald, just as the original poster here most likely would. It is a better look for you.  The point I'm trying to make to Hotrn is, as much as I hate the reality of it, six weeks before a wedding where he is playing an integral part, it's no longer his decision. And, even if she says yes and then doesn't like it, he'll own the decision since it was a bad one. It's not fair but it's how these things work. 

Should it be his call alone?  Yes, of course.  But the reality of life in the culture in which we live is that the bride owns it and calls ALL the shots.  The time to experiment was 6 months out, not now. Women and weddings are a dangerous combination and should not be approached with an open can of gas in one hand and a lit match in the other...  
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: isleepinthebuff on February 04, 2012, 12:40:54 PM
Funny.  Looks like 2 different people.  No hair does look better  8)

It does! NEVER again!
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: Razor X on February 04, 2012, 12:47:47 PM
Acme - you look great bald as the original poster here most likely would.  The point I'm trying to make to him is, as much as I hate the reality of it, six weeks before a wedding where he is palying an integral part it's no longer his decision.

Should it be?  Yes, of course.  But the reality of life in the culture in which we live is that the bride owns it and calls the shots.  The time to experiment was 6 months out, not now. Women and weddings are a dangerous combination and should not be approached with an open can of gas in one hand and a lit match in the other... 

I agree.  If the bride were 100% on board, I'd say go for it now, but since she's a little unsure, I say wait until after the wedding and then do it.
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: sailor61 on February 04, 2012, 01:07:17 PM
Even if she were 100% on board, unless she is insisting he shave, he's better off waiting. In my limited experience what was an approved action that comes out less than wonderful has a way of morphing into"that's not what I meant.."
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: AgeTwentyTwoBaldy on February 04, 2012, 04:28:45 PM
sailor is spot on with his assessment, brother. Even though a marriage is between a man and a woman, the man is really nothing but another piece of the background, because it's HER wedding. My advice... keep trying to persuade her until you get a fully positive endorsement. Explain to her that if you shave it now, you will still have a good buzz cut by the time the wedding rolls around if she doesn't like it. Tell her that she may actually like it more than your current hair. Never know until you try!
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: boston501 on February 05, 2012, 06:25:32 AM
if she loves you then she'll love you bald
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: buddha on February 05, 2012, 08:04:43 AM
"SHE WHO MUST BE OBEYED"  Bridezillas don;t just happen - they are made and don't risk that.  

I totally understand the logic that Sailor has put forth here, BUT (and this is a big but), men don't have their individuality and power stolen by the women in their lives. They surrender it. If getting married to this particular woman is of the utmost importance in your life plan and nothing else matters then, by all means, do as she says. If, however, being an independent man and your own individuality is important to you then advise her that you will be entering the world of sly. She may not like it but what are her options? She could, of course call off the wedding. The minuses of this are obvious. The big plus is that you have established your domain. And what is your domain, you ask? It is the right to make decisions regarding your own body.

Consider this. If you allow her to make this decision for you what lies in the future? There will be nothing in your life that you do not, out of fear for her wrath, decide for yourself. You will consult with her and place her opinion above your own on matters that have little or no implications for her. Have you ever seen the married couple at the mall on Sunday when football is on and you look at the guy's face and he is wearing a zombielike expression because his buddies are watching the game but he has to be at the mall with the misses picking out a new comforter and dust ruffle set? And when he attempts to have input in the decision he has been put down and told to stay much like any other family pet. So he is just there, like a couple of others have stated. A decoration. Is that what you are looking for in life/marriage?

Marriage is a partnership, that means that each person has an equal amount of power and input. The sad truth is that since the court system has established that a man is basically nothing more than a beast of burden that he has very few rights and even less importance. Remember that when people with children divorce that women are awarded custody of children almost exclusively. Even when the children are boys and have a stronger bond with their father they are sent to live with the person who cannot even teach them the one basic function that sets men and women apart on a routine daily basis: taking a pee in the standing position. If you surrender your power now it will be gone forever. Keep it and maintain balance in your marriage, that way she knows that she is getting a MAN as a partner, not a ball-less little boy who needs to be mothered throughout his adult life.

But the choice is yours. You may have convinced yourself that this woman is special, she is the only one who can fill the hole in your soul but she's not. If she objects to you making your own decisions now imagine what your life will be 10 years into the marriage when you really have something to lose.

You could be the guy walking in the mall on Sunday looking for a new dust ruffle. Is that what you want your life to look like?
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: buddha on February 05, 2012, 09:08:55 AM
For more on this read the article below. I might add that the article was written by a woman.

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2010/08/the-lost-art-of-masculinity/
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: Slynito on February 05, 2012, 09:32:29 AM
I look at relationships as a big assed bell curve...while courting and the touchy feely, he'in 'n' she'n period you are climbing the curve to marriage at the top...these are the best of times...after marriage it's a downhill slide...when I walked down the aisle there was something in my head trying to tell me something...later I found out it was my better judgement screaming at me over the loud organist, "Run like a scalded dog, you idiot"!

Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: Sir Harry on February 05, 2012, 03:48:48 PM
Nice article and post Buddha....I sometimes wonder if I would have followed these rules in moderation could one of my marriages have been saved....Getting back to the point, this seems like one of these "damned if you do or damned if you don't" situations. Ultimately, we have to make a choice and just be prepared to own it if its the wrong one. It's easy for us to say "Wait till after the wedding" or "It's your head 24-7 does it matter what she wants" but ultimately, to the original poster, you have to weigh all the pros and cons based on your situation, not what we say...BTW I wish the only thing that was wrong with my marriage was whether or not to be sly....I might be a bigamist by now :*)) Finally, good luck and best wishes to you and the bride to be...
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: hotrn on February 06, 2012, 10:46:16 PM
Well let's add another curve to the situation... I now have an out break of sebhorric dermitis in my head!!! This is the second out break in three months! This stuff itches and is sore! The last time, I went to the doctor and the medicine she gave me was $300+ per perscription and didn't work! Now what? :(


Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: Itall on February 06, 2012, 11:34:20 PM
Head and shoulders everyday
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: chgobuzzbald on February 06, 2012, 11:49:50 PM
BINGO !!!  Your  medical excuse why you MUST shave you head now and keep it shaved. Problem solved.
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: kalbo on February 07, 2012, 12:49:32 AM
BINGO !!!  Your  medical excuse why you MUST shave you head now and keep it shaved. Problem solved.

You nailed it Chgobuzzbald  O0
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: mrzed on February 07, 2012, 03:56:22 AM
Well let's add another curve to the situation... I now have an out break of sebhorric dermitis in my head!!! This is the second out break in three months! This stuff itches and is sore! The last time, I went to the doctor and the medicine she gave me was $300+ per perscription and didn't work! Now what? :(

Does your doctor recommend shaving your head bald as a treatment option?

Z.
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: hotrn on February 07, 2012, 06:17:38 AM
The doctor said that it wouldn't help anything to shave my head, but others with SD at this stage said that it was the only way they found total relief. Head and shoulders, tsal, denorex, selsun... none of it even phased it!
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: Razor X on February 07, 2012, 03:47:54 PM
The doctor said that it wouldn't help anything to shave my head, but others with SD at this stage said that it was the only way they found total relief. Head and shoulders, tsal, denorex, selsun... none of it even phased it!

Plenty of people here will also tell you that shaving brought total and almost instant relief from SD.
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: DCdome on February 07, 2012, 07:26:08 PM
Shaving the head for your condition is worth a try and you will like the way you look as a bald man as well.  :)
Title: Re: Will she say YES?
Post by: LAGLE on February 07, 2012, 09:31:34 PM
Honestly, confidence is key, i love my dome, and ive been BBC for a year, and i stll find myself rubbing it throughout the day. nothing better. I'd say wait till after the wedding though, stick around our forums, then do our 30-day challenge  O0