Author Topic: Bald Man Blues  (Read 23723 times)

Offline happyharry

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Bald Man Blues
« on: December 04, 2006, 05:38:21 PM »
Fellow baldies,

I'm between the devil and the deep blue sea (nice idiom, by the way).

As somebody who swears by the bald lifestyle, and as somebody who's a moderator
for a bald related forum, I should be a beacon of light for other bald people and for those
who are still undecided on whether or not to go bald.

But I met a woman....

Well, I met a woman, and I really love her, and that's nice and great and all. But...

...she prefers me with hair! And the last time we were together (we live several thousand miles
apart) I did something unspeakable: I let my hair grow back...for her.
Oh, I know, I know, it's a stigma and a great shame for a bald guy (and a moderator for a bald forum, let's not forget about that).

And it's hard on me. And as I was lying there in bed during those long lonely nights, and as my hand moved up to my head and found no smooth and shiny surfaces, I was overcome by a deep sorrow...and I picked up my harmonica and played the Bald Man Blues.

And now I'm in a terrible dilemma: do I abjure the bald lifestyle, or do I stand firm, stand by my principles?

Ah, women have us wrapped around their fingers. They say it's a men's world, but deep down, us men know better - it's a women's world. No man could ever say no to a woman, not if he really loved her.
And I do love her.

Anyway, I'm back in Greece now, and I did shave again (I just hope she doesn't find out ::)). And it feels great being bald again.

But the question remains: do I forsake my baldness for the sake of love?

What would you do? (Not that I would listen to you, I'd make my own decision ;D)

Would you give up the bald lifestyle for the love of a woman? And I'm not saying she's going to
break up with me if I stay bald. It's just that she likes me much more with hair. And I want to make her
happy, of course. So, it's a great dilemma.

There's much talk here in this forum about the advantages of being bald, about how women find bald men sexy. But what happens if you find yourself in a situation such as mine, where being bald becomes a disadvantage rather than an advantage, when it becomes a liability?

I'm looking forward to your comments. And please be meek. After all, there are extenuating circumstances - love made me do it.

So, what's your verdict?


 
« Last Edit: December 07, 2006, 08:43:31 AM by happyharry »


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Offline Medic aka Rocko

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Re: Bald Man Blues
« Reply #1 on: December 04, 2006, 07:18:10 PM »
A complex issue to be sure.  My wife would rather I have hair, but I choose not too.  My happiness bald is much greater than her happiness with my hair, if you know what I mean.  I've let it grow back a few times (in the past 8 or so years).  She says she likes hair better, but in our day to day relationship, it really doesn't make any difference.

Besides that, my hairline is a couple feet farther south than what it used to be!

Maybe you could explain to her that you are much happier and confident as a bald man.  Show her some of the posts on here.  Plead your case.  Good luck!

Offline PigPen

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Re: Bald Man Blues
« Reply #2 on: December 05, 2006, 10:57:26 AM »
I know I made this comment on the HeadBlade MySpace page, not sure if I did here though. My wife dyed her hair a nice red color, I'm a sucker for redheads. I made the comment to her that I liked the particular color she had chosen. Her response was that if I would grow my hair back she would keep it that color. Without hesitating I said "No way"

Take that as you will. I call it a compromise. When it comes down to it though, I'm not staying with my wife because of her hair color. So I would venture to say that she is not staying with me because of my "hair" choice.
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Offline PBurke

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Re: Bald Man Blues
« Reply #3 on: December 05, 2006, 11:26:09 AM »
 i feel like if you love each other, then hair color, or lack of hair is unimportant. just for the record: my wife helped me shave mine the first time and loves it now. which is a good thing, because my self confidence has never been better. i don't plan on ever going back to having hair. besides if i was to ever end up single again i know "BALD WORKS FOR ME". NEED I SAY MORE?


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Offline MC HammerHead

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Re: Bald Man Blues
« Reply #4 on: December 05, 2006, 01:12:34 PM »
Well....I know my wife is more attracted to men with hair.  It's obvious in terms of how she comments about certain individuals.  We have an awesome God Blessed marriage, so I am no fear, but,  I am completely confident that if I had a full mane she would be alot more stoked than she is now...but, as my massage therapist said at lunch "Dude you are BALD embodied.  No one would know you if you had hair.....you would just not look like YOU!"

Thats a tough issue you have HH because I have been blessed to have the love of two special women in my life, one my first wife who died of cancer, and my wife now.  I can say however, that I have also been fortunate that both accepted me for who I am/was...and well, who I am now...and have been for 7 years...is bald headed Me. 

Hey, you could always use the bait and switch tactic: grow hair, get married to her, and then shave it.  .....nah, that sounds stupid...never mind.  ha ha
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Offline Professor Melon

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Re: Bald Man Blues
« Reply #5 on: December 05, 2006, 01:37:55 PM »
  :-[ :-[ :-[ :Dear Happyharry: if she really loves you, she will want you to be happy with your own self-image. After all, she fell in love with you when you did not have hair. If you bend to her wishes for YOUR appearance, you will set a precedent for uxoriousness that will permanently shape your relationship. My father's family are all Greeks; I have never heard of a Greek husband who acknowledged or buckled to his wife's preferences. Quite the opposite.  I remember that my grandfather told my grandmother how she was supposed to dress when they went out. She would not have presumed to direct him. Perhaps times have changed or your lady-love is not Greek. It's a ticklish dilemma. If growing hair makes you really unhappy but you do it anyway to please her, won't that compromise your integrity and ultimately cause you to resent her? I hope you can get her to appreciate your preference for baldness; if you can't, perhaps she's the wrong one. Best of luck, and please let us how how you decide. Professor Melon
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Offline Professor Melon

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Re: Bald Man Blues
« Reply #6 on: December 05, 2006, 01:52:27 PM »
 :( Kyrios Happyharry: One further thought. You write, "I'm back in Greece and I shaved again (I just hope she doesn't find out)." Are you affraid of her? Do you have to get away from her to be who you are and appear as you will? Being some one you're not for the sake of acceptance is a false position. If you have to play a role in order to maintain a relationship, isn't that disingenuous? Real love depends on thorough mutual acceptance, no dissembling involved. Consider the long-term consequenses if you found a relationship on such a basis. Of course, if you really do want to regrow your hair, then the problem is solved. Some introspection needed here. Good Luck, Prof. Melon
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Offline happyharry

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Re: Bald Man Blues
« Reply #7 on: December 05, 2006, 02:11:22 PM »
Prof,

thanks for your elaboration of the subject at hand. What you say is true and valid.
Bending to her wishes (or at least to this particular one) would definitely violate my
integrity. And mental scars as these are much worse than physical ones.

However, I wasn't planning on growing my hair back (I just did that during the two weeks we were
together, just to humour her). I am who I am, and I'm a result of my choices (and those horrible Greek genes). And I'm not going to change what I hold dearly for anyone. However (here we go again), since all this happened quite recently I'm kind of still stuck inside the problem, haven't been able to get out of it yet and clear my head.
And it'll take perhaps another week or two to clear my head and put my foot down firmly.

As far as the Greeks are concerned (what do you know! I didn't know you had Greek ancestry :)):

What you're referring to were the manifestations of an older generation. This was ages ago (as far as I'm concerned), and Greek women today are the ones wearing the trousers. They can be very difficult, Greek women. And many of them have quite a temper. So beware...

By the way, the woman I was referring to isn't Greek.

Oh, I see you posted another reply. Well, it seems now that you all took my posting way too seriously.
Perhaps I should have added more smileys and emoticons in certain places in order to show that I was being
humorous at some points (such as in "I hope she doesn't find out). Of course, I do not fear her. That's ridiculous.
It's just that when you're at the beginning of a relationship you have a tendency to put too much attention on certain things, to exaggerate certain things, so to speak. That's all.

Another thing I wanted to stress through my post was the fact that there can be downsides to being bald. However, I think the advantages outweigh them by far.
« Last Edit: December 20, 2006, 02:18:56 AM by happyharry »
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Offline David

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Re: Bald Man Blues
« Reply #8 on: December 05, 2006, 02:31:15 PM »
I'm gonna be honest, I don't see a downside here.   If she really loves you, it's for who you are as a person not solely your physical appearance.

Think about marriages that last 50-60 years or longer, do you think those are based on appearances?   No way(not unless they have the miracle potion that stops aging), they are based on being best friends who you can share anything with without fear of negative repercussion.   

Btw on another tangent, I'm not married, but as a christian it upsets me to see how many people think divorce is so readily an option.    A lot of people nowadays sadly don't think marriage through because they figure if we grow apart, i'll just divorce them and try again.   This doesn't go for every couple, but it happens way too often in today's society.   Marriage is a sacred bond between two people not just a contract you can void at any time.
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Offline happyharry

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Re: Bald Man Blues
« Reply #9 on: December 05, 2006, 02:37:16 PM »
Aye, marriages are far too flimsy these days. They're not as solid as they used to be.
And that worries me, for families are the most basic social unit. And the strength and
stability of that unit also determines whether children will do well growing up and later in
life. If a marriage breaks apart it's usually the children who are most adversely affected.

But to return to the subject at hand, I agree, she doesn't love me for my looks. And we'll be together
no matter what my decision will be on that subject. I just wished she was one of those women who
find bald men sexy... :)
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Offline David

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Re: Bald Man Blues
« Reply #10 on: December 05, 2006, 02:49:31 PM »
Ah, the perfect woman.  Aren't  those only available at your area toy stores in a nice plastic box? ;D
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Offline Tyler

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Re: Bald Man Blues
« Reply #11 on: December 05, 2006, 03:04:24 PM »
Ah, the perfect woman.  Aren't  those only available at your area toy stores in a nice plastic box? ;D

I always tell my single buddies (whom I consider picky when it comes to choosing a woman) "there's no such thing as a perfect woman, only a women that is perfect for you."

Back to Harry's post:

I agree that it can be hard to make decisions that you are passionate about when someone you love disagrees with your decision.  Though, as most negotiation books say "no is just the first point of negotiation."  Meaning, you can usually persuade your loved one to see you point of view, or atleast concede to your decision, if you present the information to them that shows it's in their best interest to go with what you would like to do.
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Offline David

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Re: Bald Man Blues
« Reply #12 on: December 05, 2006, 03:14:58 PM »

Back to Harry's post:

I agree that it can be hard to make decisions that you are passionate about when someone you love disagrees with your decision. 

I understand.   My parents weren't thrilled when I told them the bald look was going to be permanent.   Nor when I said I was growing a beard with it.   My mom hates facial hair and at times she thinks she will persuade me to relent(not happening anymore).     I love the look and feel of being bald as it opens up my smile and my great bluish eyes.   And the way I figure it, my mom dyes her hair not to be completely gray(her family has that problem) and everybody knows and that amuses me.   Plus my dad nor mom hasn't changed their hairstyle since I was little.    They are very set in their ways and while it would be nice if they changed I don't really worry about their opinion on this matter.
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Offline PigPen

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Re: Bald Man Blues
« Reply #13 on: December 05, 2006, 05:40:58 PM »
Harry,
Do you think it would be possible that the look may grow on her after some time? Would that be a possibility for her at all?
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Offline PBurke

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Re: Bald Man Blues
« Reply #14 on: December 05, 2006, 05:49:43 PM »
the guy that taught me to fight bulls signed his autograph with, "BE YOURSELF, THE BEST YOU CAN." I think that fits for harry as well as david. hell we can all learn from that.


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