Author Topic: bald and fearing the future  (Read 6023 times)

Offline tryingtostaypositive

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bald and fearing the future
« on: August 06, 2017, 03:28:21 PM »
I've just joined this forum because I think it's probably time I got some support regarding this issue.

I started losing my hair as early as 26, however the hair loss was mainly on the crown and hardly visible at the front. For the next 8 years or so, it started falling out fast.  Now at almost 34, I am bald. 
Clearly looking back I've had a severe case of MPB as my mothers' brothers are all bald.  So I knew it wasn't going to work out well!  Losing what's left of your hair is a difficult period as I'm sure it has been for most of you although I went through various phases of feeling very down about it to not feeling so bad.  Now, I am totally bald and I still go through those same phases of feeling ok with it to spending the day wishing I could have hair.

Anyway, my main concern with all this is probably the most common for a single guy - how it impacts on dating and attracting women.  I've had a fair few relationships in my life but still no luck in finding that one person.  I think I used to be a great looking guy when I had hair and with my buzzcut 5 years ago.  Now, as a totally bald guy, people still mention I'm a decent looking guy and some say I even look better without hair than with hair. What does help is that I'm 6"2, dark skinned (dark brown) and have the exact right head shape for the bald look. However I would give anything to have at least some hair again so that I could have my buzz cut again.   

As I'm still searching and looking for love, I'm getting the impression that baldness is an issue for women.  I've heard the usual "it's confidence that they find attractive etc." "women are more interested in other qualities"  This of course may well be true to varying degrees but what kind of women do you see the bald guys with?  Whenever I see a couple where the guy is bald, his gf/wife is not exactly anything special physically speaking.  How many bald guys do you honestly see with hot chicks?  On dating websites too, I don't have the same luck as I had before when I had that buzz cut and some hair.

I'm not the confident man I used to be and I believe the lack of hair/being single has played a significant part in this.



Offline Magoo

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Re: bald and fearing the future
« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2017, 04:42:03 PM »
You have the idea that only" something special type of women "is what matters in life. Son you have so much to learn. You have lost all confidence about yourself, because you think all women think like you do. 
Real people that matter and can survive more than six months together don't have that philosophy on life.
You claim you never see bald men with good looking women , you must be kidding,get yourself some glasses.
If only all men lived by the "Golden Rule ."

Offline invaray

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Re: bald and fearing the future
« Reply #2 on: August 06, 2017, 04:58:01 PM »
Confidence does not come from hair. Work on what is inside you head not what is on top of it.
shine and share




Offline AJ Q-Ball

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Re: bald and fearing the future
« Reply #3 on: August 06, 2017, 09:56:00 PM »
Man we're  around the same age. I'm 31 to be exact. Let me just tell you that when I starting shaving my head bald,  I gained attention from the ladies like never before. It was not because I was just bald. It was because  I had confidence radiating out from me. Shaving my head was one of the best decisions I've ever made as far as looks go. I couldn't get over how good I looked as opposed to having thinning hair.

 If a girl does not want anything to do with you because of the lack of hair on your head, then they don't deserve you in the first place. To answer your questions below, I see a good bit of bald guys who are with some pretty good looking women. I saw a couple today at church around our age where the guy was bald. The girl happened to be very pretty and attractive.

 Let me just give you some advice for the next time you go out anywhere. Dress nicely and in a way that  displays a little  bit of your personality. Also anytime you approach anyone, smile and be positive. You have to have the mindset that good things are going to happen. If not, you will continue to be stuck in a rut. Best of luck to you man! Don't get easily discouraged. Persevere and love will find its way.

Offline Tyler

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Re: bald and fearing the future
« Reply #4 on: August 07, 2017, 12:47:57 AM »
I agree with what AJ and the other two posters said. If you're not having success with women, then it's likely how you interact with them, not your hair style. I have a shaved head and now only have one leg. Because of the way I carry myself, usually positive with a smile, I get a log of attention from women.
People are not limited by the circumstance that they are born in. They are limited by the size of their dreams. Show them that their dreams can have no limits and in turn their accomplishments can be limitless.

Offline tryingtostaypositive

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Re: bald and fearing the future
« Reply #5 on: August 07, 2017, 01:06:46 PM »
Thanks for the responses.
I do agree confidence can be everything from voice tonality to dress sense and most importantly, just being sure of oneself. 
My point was that in general, although women will pretend the bald head doesn't bother them, many are bothered by it.  Being on these dating apps and websites are hard work and even more so when you've got no hair.  There are guys on here too who will try and ignore the obvious fact that many women will be put off by a bald head.  Of course if you ask these women they will say otherwise in order to be polite and not appear shallow.  It's the same for us when it comes to what we find attractive in women, generally speaking.  In the same way, there'll be guys who like their women larger and thicker but for most, it's the slim, slender, proportionate type. 

The only exception to this is, of course, if you are genuinely a good looking guy and the bald look does suit you.  Even then though, you're still behind the men who are equally good looking but with a full head of hair. 
« Last Edit: August 07, 2017, 01:15:43 PM by tryingtostaypositive »

Offline Magoo

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Re: bald and fearing the future
« Reply #6 on: August 07, 2017, 02:50:09 PM »
It apparent your not happy with what nature has dealt you. What would you like for this forum to do.You seem to know all the normal pat answers.There not much else we can suggest. Get out there and keep trying ,life will surprise you . Giving up and felling sorry is not the answer. Yes we all have self doubts when dating , but keep trying , what other choices do we have. Only if you give up are a sure loser.
If only all men lived by the "Golden Rule ."

Offline AJ Q-Ball

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Re: bald and fearing the future
« Reply #7 on: August 07, 2017, 10:59:23 PM »
I agree with what AJ and the other two posters said. If you're not having success with women, then it's likely how you interact with them, not your hair style. I have a shaved head and now only have one leg. Because of the way I carry myself, usually positive with a smile, I get a log of attention from women.

Thank you Tyler. As I've said in another post, I'm just now finding out about all that has happened to you this year and I'm very sorry. In spite of all the circumstances it seems you're making the best of everything and that's good.

tryingtostaypositive: Like Magoo said, it's obvious you're not happy. Concerning the quote "You're still behind the men who are equally good looking but with a full head of hair", not in my case man. Whenever I walk into a room, I make my presence known and make it apparent that I'm the absolute best man in there and that no other man is going to overpower me in getting what I want if it's up for grabs. Along the lines of what I said in my previous post, if a girl is not interested in a guy just because he has his head shaved bald, then she is not worthy to be a potential dating partner whatsoever. The bald head can actually be a good tool when it comes to weeding out shallow females for whenever they may come along. Did you ever think about it that way? Personally, I've never run into any woman put off by my baldness. I would be able to sense it if I did by their vibes and body language. Also like what I said before, it depends on your mindset.


Offline tryingtostaypositive

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Re: bald and fearing the future
« Reply #8 on: August 11, 2017, 05:04:58 AM »
Hey AQT, have you tried dating websites/apps?  What's it been like on them for you?

Offline Tyler

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Re: bald and fearing the future
« Reply #9 on: August 20, 2017, 02:28:04 AM »
Here's a video I just did on what women think of bald guys:
People are not limited by the circumstance that they are born in. They are limited by the size of their dreams. Show them that their dreams can have no limits and in turn their accomplishments can be limitless.

Offline tryingtostaypositive

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Re: bald and fearing the future
« Reply #10 on: August 20, 2017, 01:42:59 PM »
I liked the video.

Offline Tyler

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Re: bald and fearing the future
« Reply #11 on: August 21, 2017, 03:58:19 AM »
Cool! Thanks
People are not limited by the circumstance that they are born in. They are limited by the size of their dreams. Show them that their dreams can have no limits and in turn their accomplishments can be limitless.