Author Topic: I want to get a tattoo but I am afraid what people will say  (Read 24355 times)

Offline beardedbaldgerman

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I want to get a tattoo but I am afraid what people will say
« on: December 23, 2013, 08:11:22 AM »
I would really love to get my sleeve, shoulder and chest inked (colorful koi is my idea). But I am to afraid of what other people say and think. Being a 33 old man and living in a relationship with a man I love does not make it easier to overcome this fear because I want my partner to be supportive (what he is not when we talk about body modification). Plus I think my parents would be shocked. I should not care about them at my age but I somehow do. I always want to fulfill the expectations of others, I guess. I already made some changes at my appearance and grew a beard and clipper shaved my head - something (especially the beard) I was afraid of a few years back. I have no piercings either. Is it just the quarter/third/mid life crisis that make me want to get a tattoo? I don't no but I doubt it because I think about it from time to time since 2006.



Offline Mike E. P.

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Re: I want to get a tattoo but I am afraid what people will say
« Reply #1 on: December 23, 2013, 08:41:36 AM »
Funny you mention the quarter life crisis.  I've always wanted a tattoo, but at fifty, I'm afraid it would scream  mid-life crisis.  I really shouldn't care about that, but ... In reality, I'm just a little afraid of what I think might be an awesome tattoo at fifty, I might not think is so awesome at seventy-five.
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Offline Hingatao

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Re: I want to get a tattoo but I am afraid what people will say
« Reply #2 on: December 23, 2013, 09:22:07 AM »
I was 45 when I got my first tattoo. There was never any thought from me or anyone else about it being any kind of a "crisis", it was just something I'd wanted to do. I'm 51 now and have five tattoos. Granted, none if mine are anywhere near as big as what you're talking about and they can all be covered easily if I find myself going into a situation where they could become an issue.

If your partner is that unsupportive maybe you can compromise and have a smaller piece done (or a small portion of what you really want so that it can be expanded later when your partner gets used to it). Otherwise, if you have the time and money to invest in a tat, go for it. It's your body and your money. Keep in mind, though, that tattoos can be addictive. Like I said, I have five and I plan on expanding one of them (on my right fore arm) into a half-sleeve. Have fun!
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Offline beardedbaldgerman

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Re: I want to get a tattoo but I am afraid what people will say
« Reply #3 on: December 23, 2013, 09:50:30 AM »
This is the kind of tattoo I am taking about. Maybe not the whole sleeve and a bit more colorful: http://www.flickr.com/photos/61072578@N06/5562324668/

If there would not be other people "involved" I would do it right away. I would start with the sleeve and then extend it later (partly because of the money). Should I just go to the artist without asking my partner beforehand?

isleepinthebuff

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Re: I want to get a tattoo but I am afraid what people will say
« Reply #4 on: December 23, 2013, 01:01:17 PM »
I do love the tattoo you posted. Tattoo's are personal and should very much be about you and not others. At the age that you are you're more likely to be making an informed decision. I had mine at 20 and hate them now. I really wish I had untampered with skin! Especially as now everyone has a tatoo and sleeves are very much done to death and in fashion. When I had mine done it was all about tribal black tattoo's, mine have faded and are grey now. I dread to think what they'll be like when I'm older!

So maybe I'm not the welcome to tattoo's you were looking for!

Offline Baldstu

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Re: I want to get a tattoo but I am afraid what people will say
« Reply #5 on: December 23, 2013, 01:55:37 PM »
Nah its not a mid life crisis thing , its kinda personal , sly guys look good with tatoos , gotta few meself

Offline TheSlyBear

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Re: I want to get a tattoo but I am afraid what people will say
« Reply #6 on: December 23, 2013, 04:22:29 PM »
This is the kind of tattoo I am taking about.
I love traditional work like that.


Offline EarlBald

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Re: I want to get a tattoo but I am afraid what people will say
« Reply #7 on: December 23, 2013, 04:52:52 PM »
If you really want a tattoo, go get one, but I'd suggest starting small.  Don't worry about your parents and friends, but if it's going to make your partner go "Eeeeewwww!", think long and carefully.  Also, remember that tattoos are permanent--removable only at great pain and expense.  Whatever you put on your skin will stay there--and if you sag, etc. as you get older (not to put too fine a point on it), the tattoos sag with you.  I'd advise against doing this on a whim.
« Last Edit: December 24, 2013, 08:05:51 AM by EarlBald »

Offline Hingatao

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Re: I want to get a tattoo but I am afraid what people will say
« Reply #8 on: December 23, 2013, 05:29:04 PM »
I'll echo what the others have said about this being purely a personal decision. It's your body and your choice. Don't let anyone else make the decision for you.

You might also want to talk to a few different artists and ask to see pictures of some of their work. Any reputable artist will make a practice of having some in a scrapbook or binder that's available without asking. If you describe what you want, most artists will also you estimates on pricing and how long the piece will take to complete. Both will depend upon size and complexity of the piece as well as whether or not you want color or just various shades of black and grey.
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Offline Daven

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Re: I want to get a tattoo but I am afraid what people will say
« Reply #9 on: December 23, 2013, 06:08:09 PM »
If I lived with an "I wonder what people will say/think about__________" philosophy  I would likely never leave the house. 

Take my grandma's favorite advice :  "what other people think of you is none of your business"



... Now post pictures when the work is healed.
AKA Gimpy


Offline Mike E. P.

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Re: I want to get a tattoo but I am afraid what people will say
« Reply #10 on: December 23, 2013, 07:56:10 PM »

Take my grandma's favorite advice :  "what other people think of you is none of your business"

Great advice. I'll have to remember that! :)
Bronx bald and bred!

Offline buddha

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Re: I want to get a tattoo but I am afraid what people will say
« Reply #11 on: December 24, 2013, 09:56:20 AM »
Plus I think my parents would be shocked. I should not care about them at my age but I somehow do.

I always want to fulfill the expectations of others, I guess.

The second line I quoted is the root of the problem as far as I can see. It sure as hell isn't easy to spend life trying not to disappoint other people while trying to be who you are.
This is not about not caring about your parents so much as it is not being able to walk away from them. You can care about mom and dad and still be your own man. Are you paying all your own bills? Feeding and clothing yourself? Keeping a roof over your own head? If so you're no longer bound by the dictates of your parents. Doing what you want and being who you are is not disrespect to the people who brought you into this world, it is self-respect.
As far as your partner is concerned if he wouldn't love you because you made a body mod then he clearly has a picture of you being what he wants you to be and you're living up to it. Now imagine yourself at 65 having lived your whole life according to the expectations of other people and all the things you passed on because of that. Are you going to die a happy man? BTW, the best way to answer that question is when you're by yourself looking into a mirror.
"Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it never really care for anything else thereafter."
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Offline VOT

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Re: I want to get a tattoo but I am afraid what people will say
« Reply #12 on: December 24, 2013, 01:11:10 PM »
If you have wanted one since 2006 it clearly isn't a whim. What you are proposing isn't particularly extreme either. If I were in your shoes I would just explain to your partner that you want it, why, and although you would rather it had his blessing you will still go ahead. Invite him along to the studio to be part of the experience. Re your parents, in my experience parents never particularly approve of anything but on the up side even if they don't approve they will not love you any less. Unless you regularly walk around with your shirt off in their presence they will only see it in the summer with short sleeves. so stop stressing and do what you want to do.

Offline swimmerbro

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Re: I want to get a tattoo but I am afraid what people will say
« Reply #13 on: December 24, 2013, 09:47:31 PM »
I completely agree with what everyone is saying. I am in the same boat as far as wanting one and being scared of what other people will think, and honestly reading this encourages me to take the leap of faith because I know it will make me happy and ultimately that is what matters. As far as your tattoo goes, I think its bad ass! good luck with everything.

Offline Hingatao

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Re: I want to get a tattoo but I am afraid what people will say
« Reply #14 on: December 24, 2013, 09:57:28 PM »
My mom and my bf don't like my tats but they both realize, fortunately, that the tats don't change who I am. On another note, I don't like the fact that my bf smokes but I don't love him any less because of it and I've never asked him to quit.
Hair is over rated.

 



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